Glasgow’s Clockwork Orange?

Last week an American feller asked me where he could find an all night blues bar in Glasgow and I had to tell them there wasn’t one.

I was gonna point him down to the The Scotia Bar where the blues and booze goes all the way into the morning.
But then I remembered that Bellhaven took over that bar a few years ago and all the old blues guys stopped going.
Then I remembered that that was why I stopped going.

It’s sometimes embarrassing because in New York these places are ten a penny.
Okay, a dozen a dime.

Really I’m just embarrassed at having to tell people that unlike New Yawk City,
There comes a time at night when Glasgow shuts down.

The city that goes to sleep when it’s bedtime.

Most American tourists follow that up with:
“But it’s Saturday night!”

The tourists in work tend to ask about trains and transport.
The Underground.
The Subway.

Glasgow’s Clockwork Orange“.

I really like that name.
It’s affectionate but it’s only a name because:
(a) Who actually calls it “The Clockwork Orange”?
(b) Although the tracks go around in small circles and the trains (With the exception of all of the cream coloured ones) are all painted orange,
It very rarely runs like clockwork.

Trains never do though do they?

But aye!
Aye they do!

I heard a group from Berlin taking the piss out of the Glasgow subway a few days ago and they were quite right.

They couldn’t believe that it closes down at 6pm every Sunday and get this!
They laughed about the fact that you had to queue up in a line for a ticket and pay for it using actual money instead of a card with a chip in it.

A part of me thinks:
“Well go back to fucking Berlin then” but a bigger part of me is just embarrassed because they’re right.
And they are right.

Are they?

They probably are.

P.S. Remember that guy who raced the Subway trains on his bike?

I liked that.

You Just Fucked With The Wrong Mexican.

Remember “Machete”?

Ah Machete.

“Machete” was one of the amazing fake trailers filmed for the Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez “Grindhouse” movie project.

It was the first of 5 fake trailers to be shot.

We’re talking vintage B-Movies here folks and the “Machete” trailer looked so convincingly good as an actual B-Movie that it even had me fooled for a second.
As you’ll see,
It was all so promising!

Audiences demanded that it be made into a full-on feature film.

Here’s the original fake trailer made by Robert Rodriguez for use in “Grindhouse”:

Here’s the new “official” trailer for the actual movie “Machete”:

Is it me or has it already lost everything that made it good?
I mean,
Isn’t a big dazzling 20th Century Fox logo a bit of a contradiction?
How can it be an over the top, cheap looking, gritty B-Movie now?

The movie has one of the most exciting cast lists I’ve seen in a long time but that logo means it’s now a big shiny Hollywood production.

I don’t care if Robert De Niro’s is in it.
I think this film will be fucking terrible.

And not in the good way.

“Terminator 2: Low-Budgment Day”.

This is possibly my favourite thing on the whole of youtube!

Neil Young: “Through My Sails”.

A very underated song from Neil Young’s album “Zuma”.

I was searching youtube to see if Neil had ever performed the song live (I didn’t think he did) and all i could find were a few folk covering the song.

I had a guitar at hand and my recording gear was all up and running so, what the hell, I decided to knock out my own version.

Although it’s rough and more than messy, i put it up on as a free download.
I’m sure i must be breaking a few rules by doing this and so i’ll take it down at the weekend.

However, I had a wee go at making a video for it and it’s now on youtube.

Here it is here:

%d bloggers like this: