Glasgow’s Clockwork Orange?

Last week an American feller asked me where he could find an all night blues bar in Glasgow and I had to tell them there wasn’t one.

I was gonna point him down to the The Scotia Bar where the blues and booze goes all the way into the morning.
But then I remembered that Bellhaven took over that bar a few years ago and all the old blues guys stopped going.
Then I remembered that that was why I stopped going.

It’s sometimes embarrassing because in New York these places are ten a penny.
Okay, a dozen a dime.

Really I’m just embarrassed at having to tell people that unlike New Yawk City,
There comes a time at night when Glasgow shuts down.

Glasgow.
The city that goes to sleep when it’s bedtime.

Most American tourists follow that up with:
“But it’s Saturday night!”

The tourists in work tend to ask about trains and transport.
The Underground.
The Subway.

“Glasgow’s Clockwork Orange“.

I really like that name.
It’s affectionate but it’s only a name because:
(a) Who actually calls it “The Clockwork Orange”?
(b) Although the tracks go around in small circles and the trains (With the exception of all of the cream coloured ones) are all painted orange,
It very rarely runs like clockwork.

Trains never do though do they?

But aye!
Aye they do!

I heard a group from Berlin taking the piss out of the Glasgow subway a few days ago and they were quite right.

They couldn’t believe that it closes down at 6pm every Sunday and get this!
They laughed about the fact that you had to queue up in a line for a ticket and pay for it using actual money instead of a card with a chip in it.

A part of me thinks:
“Well go back to fucking Berlin then” but a bigger part of me is just embarrassed because they’re right.
And they are right.

Wait.
Are they?

They probably are.

P.S. Remember that guy who raced the Subway trains on his bike?

I liked that.

Cunning Urban Foxes.

Just switched on the news there and heard about the babys in London who were mauled by a fox while they slept in their cots at home.

Read the full article HERE.

Obviously,
That’s terrible news and I hope those kids recover.

The news explained how dangerous and intelligent and cunning these “urban” foxes are and what bastards they’re capable of being and just so we got the message,
They then showed this picture:

Yep.
A fox trying to blend in as a person taking whilst riding the escalator down to the subway.

Dead clever them urban foxes.