The Polishing & Scrubbing Of Robocop.

I watched “Robocop” last night.

This film came out in 1987 and that year seems like yesterday to me but watching it again proves that 1987 was in fact, a very long time ago.

I loved this film then and I love it now.
I was all ready to write about the dead on social commentary it provided of the times.
I was ready to talk about the wit of the film.
I wanted to talk about the completely over the top excessive, cartoon violence of the film.
In short,
I just wanted to explain why this film is a big shiny metal classic to me.

But no.
I’ve decided to tell you about something else instead.

A sign of the sad and depressing, joyless, politically correct world we now walk around in.

Y’see,
I hate censorship.
If you read this blog, you’ve probably noticed.

I’m very against censorship and “Robocop” has been heavily censored over the years.
Try to catch it on the T.V. sometime, the results are hilarious!

“FUCK ME!” becomes “WHY ME!“,
“MOTHERFUCKER!” becomes “MOTHERCRUSHER!“.

But anyways,
I was digging around the internet and found a “Scrubbed” version of “Robocop”.
Know what “Scrubbed” means?

Do you see my problem here?

I mean,
“Robocop” is pretty much all violence and profanity.
The violence is central to the plot and yet here’s some guy offering to “Scrub” this film of all those bad sweary words and remove all of those big bad guns for you.

And the funniest thing is,
It’s not even a joke!
This guy is serious about this scrubbing buisness and he puts the results up online.

My first thought was:
“HAHA! ‘Robocop’ with no violence!? That’ll be about 3 minutes long”.

And folks,
It pretty much is.

This guy even lists his scrubbed version as the Director’s Cut.
That’s just cheeky 🙂

Here’s a screen shot of what this “Scrubber” guy does to films:

Before you say “AL! That’s Fucking Ridiculous!”,
This guy has also “Scrubbed” many more films.

Here’s a list of some of the other films he has “edited to remove profanity, nudity and excessive violence“:

“The Terminator“.
“Back To The Future“.
“JAWS“.
“Jurassic Park“.
“Ghostbusters“.
“Total Recall“.
“Shaun Of The Dead“.

The list goes on but I can’t because it’s too ridiculous. 🙂

Famous Last Words (Before Execution).

Carrying on from the previous post…

“You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother”.
Executed by electric chair.
– Francis “Two Gun” Crowley (Died: 1931).

 

“I love you”.
Spoken to his executioner.
Executed by lethal injection.
– Sean Flannagan (Died: June 23rd, 1989).

 

“How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries!'”
Executed by electric chair in Oklahoma, USA.
– James French (Died: 1966).

 

“Hurry it up you Hoosier bastard! I could hang a dozen men while you’re screwing around”.
Executed by hanging in Leavenworth, Kansas, USA.
– Carl Panzram (Died: September 5th, 1930).

 

“Well, the Lord is going to get another one”.
Executed by electric chair in Georgia, USA.
– John Eldon Smith (Died: December 15th, 1983).

 

“Today is a good day to die. I forgive all of you. I hope God does too”.
Executed by lethal injection in Virginia, USA.
– Mario Benjamin Murphy (Died: September 17th, 1997).

 

“Shoot me in the chest!”
Said to his executioners.
– Benito Mussolini (Italian Dictator. Died: 1945).

 

“Take a step closer lads. It will be easier that way”.
Executed by firing squad.
– Erskine Childers (Irish patriot. Died: November 24th, 1922).

 

“Shoot straight you bastards and don’t make a mess of it!”
Executed by firing squad.
– Harold Harbord “Breaker” Morant (Australian Poet. Died: 1902).

 

“Farewell my children forever. I go to your Father. Monsieur, I beg your pardon”.
Spoken to the executioner after she stepped on his foot.
– Mary Antoinette (Queen of France. Died: October 16th, 1793).

 

“Adios”.
Executed by lethal injection in Maryland, USA.
– John Thanos (Died: May 16th, 1994).

 

“Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel”.
Executed by electric chair in New York City, USA.
– George Appel (Died: 1928).

 

“Remember, the death penalty is murder”.
Executed by lethal injection in Texas, USA.
– Robert Drew (Died: August 2nd, 1994).

 

“You are going to hurt me, please don’t hurt me, just one moment, I beg you!”
Guillotined.
– Madame du Barry (Mistress of Louis XV. Died: 1793).

 

“I am innocent, innocent, innocent.
Make no mistake about this.
I owe society nothing.
I am an innocent man and something very wrong is taking place here tonight”.
Executed by lethal injection in Texas, USA.
– Lionel Herrera (Died: May 12th, 1993).

 

“You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the grim reaper”.
Executed by gas chamber in California, USA.
– Robert Alton Harris (Died: April 21st, 1992).

 

“I’d like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass”.
Executed by lethal injection in Texas, USA.
– Johnny Frank Garrett Sr. (Died: February 11th, 1992).

 

“I don’t hold any grudges.
This is my doing.
Sorry it happened”.
Executed by electric chair.
– Steven Judy (Died: March 9th, 1981).

 

“Let’s do it!”
Executed by firing squad in Utah, USA.
– Gary Gilmore (Died: January 17th, 1977).

 

“I did not get my spaghetti-O’s. I got spaghetti! I want the press to know this!”
Executed by lethal injection in Oklahoma, USA.
– Thomas J. Grasso (Died: March 20th, 1995).

Famous Last Words.

Know what Albert Einstein’s last words were?
Well neither do I.

The night nurse present at Einstein‘s death on April 18th, 1955 didn’t speak German so no one knows.

However,
The great Humphrey Bogart’s last words were:

“I should never have switched from scotch to martinis”.
Bogart died on January 14th, 1957.

Here are some more famous last words:
(Click on the word “Died” for pictures).

“That was a great game of golf fellers!”
– Bing Crosby (Singer & Actor: Died October 14th, 1977).

“That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted!”
– Lou Costello (Comedian. Died March 3rd, 1959).

“Why do you weep? Did you think I was immortal?”
– Louis XIV (King of France: Died September 1st, 1715).

“I knew it. I knew it! Born in a hotel room-and Goddamn it!-Died in a hotel room”.
– Eugene O’Neill (Writer: Died November 27th, 1953).

“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist…”
Killed in battle during the U.S. Civil War.
– General John Sedgwick (Commander: Died May 19th, 1864).

“Either that wallpaper goes, or I do”.
– Oscar Wilde (Writer: Died November 30th, 1900).

“Damn it…Don’t you dare ask God to help me”.
To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.
– Joan Crawford (Actress: Died May 10th, 1977).

“I am not the least afraid to die”.
– Charles Darwin (Naturalist: Died April 19th, 1882).

“I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies…I think that’s the record”.
– Dylan Thomas (Poet: Died November 9th, 1953).

“It’s very beautiful over there”.
– Thomas Edison (Inventor: Died October 18th, 1931).

“I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have”.
– Leonardo da Vinci (Artist: Died May 2nd, 1519).

“God will pardon me, that’s his line of work”.
– Heinrich Heine (Poet: Died February 15th, 1856).

“Let’s cool it brothers…”
Spoken to his assassins who shot him 16 times.
– Malcolm X (Black Leader: Died February 21st, 1965).

“Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough”.
– Karl Marx (Revolutionary: Died March 14th, 1883).

“God bless…God damn”.
– James Thurber (Humourist: Died November 2nd, 1961).

“Go away, I’m all right”.
– H. G. Wells (Novelist: Died August 13th, 1946).

“Friends applaud, the comedy is finished”.
– Ludwig van Beethoven (Composer: Died March 26th, 1827).

“Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something”.
– Pancho Villa (Mexican Revolutionary: Died July 20th, 1923).