Frank Sinatra In The Studio: “It Was A Very Good Year” (1965).

Composed by Ervin Drake in 1961 and originally recorded by Bob Shane of The Kingston Trio, “It Was A Very Good Year” is my favourite Frank Sinatra song and one of my favourite songs in general.
You can close your eyes and go back in time with that song.

Someone once told me that Sinatra nailed the performance in only two takes.
I can believe that.

Here’s a rare glimpse of the man himself in the studio during the recording and listen out at the end for the killer line, “4.12? That’s longer than the first act of Hamlet!”:

BBC TV: Dr. Terror’s Vault Of Horror.

I had trouble even remembering his name for a while.
It was so long ago…

I would have been 8 or 9…or maybe even 10. I don’t know but it would have been the 1990’s and almost midnight and I would be awake and glued to the my wee flickery TV with fuzzy reception.
Dr. Terror would appear on the screen to introduce the scary horror film of the evening.

Dr. Terror. That was his name. He was a cartoonishly (That’s a word!) sinister horror host for the BBC. An elegantly scary class act!

Do you remember this guy?

Those were the days.
Back then, there were fields as FAR AS THE EYE COULD SEE…
10 pence. That was a lot of money then y’know!

I remember it all and in those days the BBC would run horror double bills at midnight on Fridays and it really was an education.

The good old Doctor introduced me to the likes of “Child’s Play” (1988), “The People Under The Stairs” (1991), “Sometimes They Come Back” (1991) and obscurities like “The Baby” (1973), “VAMP” (1986) and “House” (1986).

I also grew up watching Hammer Horror flicks and Dr. Terror’s Vault Of Horror re-ran a lot of them.
I have a particularly good memory of being dog tired in my dressing gown, keeping myself awake so I could watch “Scars Of Dracula” (1970) at 2am.

Things haven’t changed much since that’s exactly what I was doing at 2am only two nights ago and I’m 30 years old now!

Anyway, it really was a great time to be young and impressionable and luckily for you and me, a few videos of Dr. Terror exist and here they are:

The Best Email I Got All Week.

Dear Alan,

Thank you for your enquiry,
And yes you are correct we did manufacture flavoured Microchips.

However, they were delisted a number of years ago and unfortunately we do not have any plans to relaunch these in the near future.

Regards,

Jenny.
Senior Customer Relations Advisor.

“Our Goal is Service Excellence”

McCain Foods (GB) Ltd
FREEPOST NEA 11518
Scarborough
North Yorkshire
YO11 3BS
Tel: 0800 146573

Thanks for getting back to me and clearing that one up Jenny.

The Day I Saw A Rocket Take Off.

I used to have a telescope when I was a wee boy.

My Granda gave it to me.
That meant it was pretty good and cost a fair amount of money.

I used to set it up on its tripod out the back and point it up.

I’d look at the Moon and wonder like every boy should and one time I even saw Neptune through it!
It was turquoise.

Other times when it was cloudy,
I’d just aim the telescope at the nearest window in the scheme.
Wondering…like every boy should 😉

My Dad always told me to never look at the Sun with it and I did.
All the time in fact!

I wear glasses now.
Strong ones.

He was probably right but there’s no way of telling.

Later,
Our folks saved up and took me and my Sister on holiday to Florida.

America.

My Mum got heatstroke and couldn’t leave the hotel one day and my Sister stayed with her.

That was the day that my Dad took me to Cape Canaveral.
The John F. Kennedy Space Centre.
I was 10.

I want to write about it here because although I remember it now,
It’s fading a bit.
Like I say,
I was 10.

I remember my Dad that day, getting used to driving on the right-hand side of the road fairly quickly and I remember it being a long, early in the morning drive out to Kennedy.
– American roads.
Big long straight sun kissed highways!

I think it was a 1 or 2 hour drive but we got there and took the tour.

We stood beside rocket engine exhausts that were 50 times bigger than we were.
We saw shiny, futuristic looking dune buggy’s which in actuality, dated back to when my Dad was a boy.

There were rockets and shuttles that were bigger than the tallest buildings I’d ever seen and Space suits which dwarfed the both of us!

I remember thinking:
“How can men make this stuff!?”
“How do they know how!?”
10 year old thoughts.
But here’s me approaching 30 and still asking myself the same questions.

And with 30 approaching fast,
My memory is going away even faster.

The next thing I remember is something I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

We were 4 miles away.
We had to be because that’s what they said.
4 miles away was the safest distance y’see!
4 miles away behind a barrier.
About to watch a space rocket take off!

It wasn’t planned.
We didn’t know we’d see a rocket lift off that day.
Just luck.
Right place, right time.

I remember being in among lots of other tourists and American 10 year olds (who were all bigger than me) and joining in on the countdown.

I don’t remember hearing the famous words “LIFT OFF!” but I’ll never forget the explosion.

It was mind blowing!

The kind of thing which instantly makes you feel very small.

I had always thought that the smoke trail from a rocket would be a perfect straight line as it goes up but it wasn’t.
It was a sort of swirling reverse pattern.
Kinda like an upside down tornado.

We watched that massive man made thing blast off into the sky…and that’s another thing!
I thought the rocket would just gradually fade and disappear into the sky but it didn’t

Florida was glorious that day and there were no clouds.

We watched that rocket go all the way up and ‘penetrate’ is the wrong word.
‘Break’ is the right word.
We saw the rocket break through the blue sky.

I don’t know how to describe something breaking the sky.

It’s all hard to describe and it’s twenty years later but luckily,
We took photos and I recently found them.

I’ll scan them in and add them into this post in a day or two so check back.

I think I’m gonna buy a telescope again.

Killer Clowns In Transit Vans In The 1990’s.

I was reminded of this by a Facebook conversation with my Sister:

Since then,
I’ve thought about it and tried to find things online about it.
I found about 2 mentions of it on the entire internet and they were pretty useless.
Here’s how I remember it…

Sometime around 1991 when I would have been 9,
There were rumours of men going around Glasgow & Lanarkshire (Where I lived) in transit vans dressed as clowns.
Royal Blue Transit Vans.

The story goes that these guys were escaped psychopaths from Carstairs Hospital hell bent on disfiguring and murdering children in the area.
Myth? Rumour? It probably was but friends of mine who are the same age as me and from different parts of Scotland have told me that the story was around in their schools at the same time too.

I think that there must have been something in it.
Just enough truth to build on y’know?

Because I remember an assembly being held in my School.

All the children were told to go straight home at the end of the day and “If you even see a Royal Blue Transit Van children, Run!”
…Like all Holy Hell all the way home.
That was always at the front of our minds when we walked home everyday.
We’d talk about it on the way and the stories (Probably invented by our imagination) grew and grew.

I grew up in Mossend which is a wee part of Bellshill.
I know for a fact that the Bellshill clown story got mixed up with another local story.

In Mossend when I was really young, there was a gypsy camp a stones throw from my house.
Apparently, there was a gypsy called Tommy who would cut both sides of your mouth open then pin you down and tickle you whilst jig-sawing your face with a blade.
In Bellshill at the time, that wasn’t that far fetched.

Ha ha!
I’m laughing like a looney tune as I’m typing this!
It’s funny now but see when you’re 7?
It’s fucking far from funny my friends!
Far from it.

OH!
I don’t mean to go off on tangents but I need to tell you this:

Later when I was 12, I made friends with a gypsy girl whose name I’ve long forgotten.
She stayed in a caravan at the camp near my house and one day she invited me to her home and her Dad goes:

“Who’s this then?”

She said: “Oh this is just Alan from School”.

Then her Dad goes: “Well nice to meet you Alan. My name’s Tommy”.

I instantly thought to myself: “It’s Tommy The Gypsy!”
I nearly had a massive stroke right there and then folks!

Anyways back to 1991:

That ‘Tommy The Gypsy’ story got lumped in with the clown Story and it became:
‘Psychopathic men dressed as Clowns going around knifing and kidnapping and jig-sawing children’s faces in a Royal Blue Transit Van’.
I’m almost positive that it made the papers at the time but I haven’t found anything yet.

One time when me and my pal Stephen were walking through a lane,
A Transit Van pulled up slowly blocking the bottom of the lane.
Royal Blue.

That lane was our only way home.

We fucking rocketed right down passed that van and Stephen gave the back doors of it a boot and shouted something imaginative like “FUCK YOU! YOU CLOWN FUCKS!”
(Even as kids we knew how to swear!)
…But I couldn’t give the van a kick.
I was too scared.
Stephen wasn’t.

But then again,
Most kids’ experience of clowns in 1991 was Ronald McDonald.
My folks let me see and read whatever I liked.
My experience of clowns in 1991 was Pennywise!

Folks!

If any of this even rings a slight bell with you, please post your stories here on this blog ‘cause I’d love to hear them.
Especially if you grew up in Lanarkshire or Glasgow.

Even if you’re from anywhere else actually!
If you have a similar story involving Clowns, post it here and we’ll try and get to the bottom of this.

I’m not scared of Clowns.
No really!
I’m 28 Years Old.
I’m not.

But all the same,
I’m still really wary of Royal Blue Transit Vans.

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