The Future’s Bright, The Future’s Fucked.

Last month I overheard two teenage lassies on the bus say “LOL” to each other instead of actually laughing.

Yes it made me despair for the entire future of Humans.
And yes it made me want to smash their screwed up orange faces in.

Actually,
Seeing that made me want to smash my own face in but the way I see it;
If you can’t kill ’em,
Laugh at ’em.

I accept that a lot of kids these days are complete morons.

So I went and looked up an Internet Slang Dictionary.
It’s fucking ridiculous and sad and hilarious all at once and here are some of the best ones I found:
(P.S. 3 of these are made up by me. See if you can spot them).

BOBFOC: Body of Baywatch, Face of Crimewatch.

MLOD: Mega laugh out loud of doom.

MWSMIRL: Maybe we should meet in real life.

DIAF: Die in a fire.

ODAY: Software illegally obtained before it was released.

A3: Anyplace, anywhere, anytime.

BUTTERFACE: Everything is hot but her face.

FMNKML: Fuck me now, kiss me later.

CODE 9: Parents are watching.

DYCOTFC: Do you cyber on the first chat?

FGI: Fucking Google it.

BWPWAP: Back when Pluto was a planet.

AFCPMGO: Away from computer parents may go on.

LIWDAD: Like I would do a disabled.

OFN: Old fucking news.

AMIIGAF: Ask me if I give a fuck.

BB4H: Bros before hoes.

CYA: Cover your ass.

FANF: Fancy a nostril fuck?

LOLLERCAUST: An extreme event of hilarity.

IRSOAK: I’d rather sit on a knife.

SINGLE: Stay intoxicated nightly, get laid everyday.

So there you go parents.
That’s what your kids are getting up to on the computer.

This is my favourite:

SOFAS: Stepping out for a smoke.

An Alternate View.

Do you know that ‘Scrubbed’ versions of movies are available online?

‘Scrubbed’ means:
‘Edited to remove nudity, sex, profanity and excessive violence’.

Robocop‘ and ‘Shaun Of The Dead‘ are just two titles on offer.

How in the hell does ‘Robocop’ work with no profanity and excessive violence?
When you remove all of that,
You’re gonna be left with a film that lasts 5 minutes,

I hate it when people censor things and muck about with editing.

Although,
That said,
I like it sometimes.

Things could have been so different…

That last one’s just plain wrong though.

An Introduction…

Alan Cook.
That’s me.

I’m 26 and I’m an Illustrator & musician from Bellshill which is just outside of Glasgow, Scotland.

I have a few other pages dotted about the place.

And here they are:

www.myspace.com/brokenglasseye
www.myspace.com/blueglasseye
www.youtube.com/user/brokenglasseye
www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MyProfile=Y
www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=5431

I will be using this blog to generally express myself and I’ll try my best to update it at least weekly.

Cheerio for now folks!

%d bloggers like this: