Ralph Macchio: “Wax On, Fuck Off”.

The great Ralph Macchio:

Ralph Macchio has made something amazing!

“The Ralph Macchio Story: Wax On, Fuck Off'”:

Follow The Good Word! (…To The Letter).

In her recent radio show,
Dr. Laura Schlessinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a U.S. resident, which was posted on the Internet:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law.
I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

* Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
Can you clarify?
Why can’t I own Canadians?

* I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

* I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15: 19-24).
The problem is how do I tell?
I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

* When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9).
The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them.
Should I smite them?

* I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

* A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10),it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
I don’t agree.
Can you settle this?
Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

* Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.
I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.
Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

* Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.
How should they die?

* I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

* My uncle has a farm.
He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.
Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16).
Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14).

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman,
Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia.

(It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian) 🙂

Famous Last Words (Before Execution).

Carrying on from the previous post

“You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother”.
Executed by electric chair.
Francis “Two Gun” Crowley (Died: 1931).

 

“I love you”.
Spoken to his executioner.
Executed by lethal injection.
– Sean Flannagan (Died: June 23rd, 1989).

 

“How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries!'”
Executed by electric chair in Oklahoma, USA.
– James French (Died: 1966).

 

“Hurry it up you Hoosier bastard! I could hang a dozen men while you’re screwing around”.
Executed by hanging in Leavenworth, Kansas, USA.
– Carl Panzram (Died: September 5th, 1930).

 

“Well, the Lord is going to get another one”.
Executed by electric chair in Georgia, USA.
– John Eldon Smith (Died: December 15th, 1983).

 

“Today is a good day to die. I forgive all of you. I hope God does too”.
Executed by lethal injection in Virginia, USA.
– Mario Benjamin Murphy (Died: September 17th, 1997).

 

“Shoot me in the chest!”
Said to his executioners.
Benito Mussolini (Italian Dictator. Died: 1945).

 

“Take a step closer lads. It will be easier that way”.
Executed by firing squad.
Erskine Childers (Irish patriot. Died: November 24th, 1922).

 

“Shoot straight you bastards and don’t make a mess of it!”
Executed by firing squad.
Harold Harbord “Breaker” Morant (Australian Poet. Died: 1902).

 

“Farewell my children forever. I go to your Father. Monsieur, I beg your pardon”.
Spoken to the executioner after she stepped on his foot.
Mary Antoinette (Queen of France. Died: October 16th, 1793).

 

“Adios”.
Executed by lethal injection in Maryland, USA.
John Thanos (Died: May 16th, 1994).

 

“Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel”.
Executed by electric chair in New York City, USA.
– George Appel (Died: 1928).

 

“Remember, the death penalty is murder”.
Executed by lethal injection in Texas, USA.
– Robert Drew (Died: August 2nd, 1994).

 

“You are going to hurt me, please don’t hurt me, just one moment, I beg you!”
Guillotined.
Madame du Barry (Mistress of Louis XV. Died: 1793).

 

“I am innocent, innocent, innocent.
Make no mistake about this.
I owe society nothing.
I am an innocent man and something very wrong is taking place here tonight”.
Executed by lethal injection in Texas, USA.
Lionel Herrera (Died: May 12th, 1993).

 

“You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the grim reaper”.
Executed by gas chamber in California, USA.
Robert Alton Harris (Died: April 21st, 1992).

 

“I’d like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass”.
Executed by lethal injection in Texas, USA.
Johnny Frank Garrett Sr. (Died: February 11th, 1992).

 

“I don’t hold any grudges.
This is my doing.
Sorry it happened”.
Executed by electric chair.
Steven Judy (Died: March 9th, 1981).

 

“Let’s do it!”
Executed by firing squad in Utah, USA.
Gary Gilmore (Died: January 17th, 1977).

 

“I did not get my spaghetti-O’s. I got spaghetti! I want the press to know this!”
Executed by lethal injection in Oklahoma, USA.
Thomas J. Grasso (Died: March 20th, 1995).

Famous Last Words.

Know what Albert Einstein’s last words were?
Well neither do I.

The night nurse present at Einstein‘s death on April 18th, 1955 didn’t speak German so no one knows.

However,
The great Humphrey Bogart’s last words were:

“I should never have switched from scotch to martinis”.
Bogart died on January 14th, 1957.

Here are some more famous last words:
(Click on the word “Died” for pictures).

“That was a great game of golf fellers!”
– Bing Crosby (Singer & Actor: Died October 14th, 1977).

“That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted!”
– Lou Costello (Comedian. Died March 3rd, 1959).

“Why do you weep? Did you think I was immortal?”
– Louis XIV (King of France: Died September 1st, 1715).

“I knew it. I knew it! Born in a hotel room-and Goddamn it!-Died in a hotel room”.
– Eugene O’Neill (Writer: Died November 27th, 1953).

“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist…”
Killed in battle during the U.S. Civil War.
– General John Sedgwick (Commander: Died May 19th, 1864).

“Either that wallpaper goes, or I do”.
– Oscar Wilde (Writer: Died November 30th, 1900).

“Damn it…Don’t you dare ask God to help me”.
To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.
– Joan Crawford (Actress: Died May 10th, 1977).

“I am not the least afraid to die”.
– Charles Darwin (Naturalist: Died April 19th, 1882).

“I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies…I think that’s the record”.
– Dylan Thomas (Poet: Died November 9th, 1953).

“It’s very beautiful over there”.
– Thomas Edison (Inventor: Died October 18th, 1931).

“I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have”.
– Leonardo da Vinci (Artist: Died May 2nd, 1519).

“God will pardon me, that’s his line of work”.
– Heinrich Heine (Poet: Died February 15th, 1856).

“Let’s cool it brothers…”
Spoken to his assassins who shot him 16 times.
– Malcolm X (Black Leader: Died February 21st, 1965).

“Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough”.
– Karl Marx (Revolutionary: Died March 14th, 1883).

“God bless…God damn”.
– James Thurber (Humourist: Died November 2nd, 1961).

“Go away, I’m all right”.
– H. G. Wells (Novelist: Died August 13th, 1946).

“Friends applaud, the comedy is finished”.
– Ludwig van Beethoven (Composer: Died March 26th, 1827).

“Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something”.
– Pancho Villa (Mexican Revolutionary: Died July 20th, 1923).

Movie Review: “Kick-Ass”.

I went to see “Kick-Ass” a few days ago.
I fucking well loved it!

I’m not one for Superhero movies and I’m not much into reading comics either but “Kick-Ass” was right up my Street!

I recognised Aaron Johnson up on the screen as “Kick-Ass” from the film “Nowhere Boy“.

I thought that “Nowhere Boy” (Where Johnson portrayed a teenage John Lennon) was okay in parts but ultimately full of silly scenarios which didn’t actually happen.
I also thought his English accent sounded off.

But there’s me in the back of the cinema watching “Kick-Ass” and Aaron is doing a spot on American geek accent!
I was confused about where this guy comes from and get this!
He’s English!

“Kick-Ass” is loads of fun.
It’s hilarious and over the top violent and makes Sam Raimi look like he takes things far too seriously.
Sam Raimi!

The great Nicholas Cage puts in a fucking star turn as ‘Big Daddy’ and plays it for laughs all the way with a very good Adam West impersonation.


The whole picture would have been Cage’s had it not been for this wee lassie:

Hit Girl“.
A 13 year old insanely violent hit girl who has a mouth like a sailor.
She’s played by Chloe Moretz and I wouldn’t fight her.

There’s no way you can’t have a sequel to this film.
Treat yourself to a laugh and go see it.

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