50 Cent On Twitter.

Do you use Twitter?

I do and I go through stages from liking it to total red hate for it and every single person on it including myself.
And that fucking ‘Fail Whale’ too…

I think a lot of people just use Twitter to talk to themselves really.
Then there are the ones who seem to think that they’re friends with the celebrities they follow.
That freaks me right the fuck out.

I thought about leaving Twitter last week but then I discovered 50 Cent’s account!

Have you seen his tweets?
They’re fucking Grade-A GOLD!
I seriously almost ended myself laughing a few days ago as I read through them all.

Here are just some of my favourite Fiddy Tweets so far:

“Yo todays been a good day so far but the roof of my mouth is sore cause I eat something that was too hot”

“After the movie I went to see my bitch shana cause she gives me free food. She work at the drive thru over at mc donalds and shit”

“Speaking of MILF. I wanna do something that impact kids in a positive way, thats why im opening an abortion clinic. Ima call it 50/50 chance”

“Ok look this aint twitter no more this the hood. And if any of you motherfucker say somthing crazy ima shoot the shit outta you”

Haha!

As he says himself,
He’s not dumb, just special.
Follow 50 HERE.

The Smug Twitter “Fail Whale”.

I think most of us these days are pretty familliar with seeing this:

I’ve cropped that picture.
Friendly as that Whale looks,
It’s actually a smug bastard who works for Twitter and usually appears along with this message:

I hate that stupid Whale and its “I don’t give a fuck” Whale face.

I hate the way it pulls me down and doesn’t let me use my 140 characters on Twitter to write my sharp as fuck and hilarious microblog.
It pulls us all down really…

I think we should do something about it fellow Twits!
Lets put an end to this stupid Moby Dickhead!

Here’s what I think we should do:

First,
WE turn the tables on this poor mans Monstro and pull IT down:

Then,
We give it a second blow hole using our old friend The Harpoon:

I don’t know where we should go from there but what about sushi?:

Basically all I’m saying is this:

I hate this annoying Shamu imposter and I think it’s time that it slept with the fishes.

Let’s take this Mother down.
Let’s take it all the way down to Chinatown.

For more inane rubbish,
Follow me on Twitter HERE.

%d bloggers like this: