…And Then I Woke Up Horrified.

The one thing about having nightmares is that you’re generally up very early in the morning.
I suppose that’s a good thing.

It’s 5.36 am.
Wanna hear something scary?

…Throughout the year,
I’ve had a re-occurring dream where I’m a worker at a gallows.
My dreams are usually big glossy cinematic epics and I’ve been having this same dream for a long time now.

My job is to stack newly dead bodies onto a cart for uplift.
It’s mostly the same dream every time but I get variations.

Sometimes,
My job is to take hanged people down and load them onto my cart.
That’s the basis of the dream and I’m always aware of the weight and how hard I have to work.

Othertimes,
I’m stacking heads onto my cart and getting frustrated because they keep rolling off.
Those dreams usually end with me chasing the rolling heads and struggling to pick them all up.
For every one I get back onto the cart,
Another two roll off and bounce off uneven cobbles in the street.

I suppose that’s quite easy to analyse as a stress dream.
I don’t think it’s anything more than that but this morning I only got 3 hours of sleep and had the same dream again with twists:

Just like every time before…

I’m about to start work and I’m doing my usual:
Checking the wheel’s on my cart; making sure they’re okay.
The cart is made of thick, scored wood and I’m waiting to put the dead folk onto it so I can wheel them away.

I’m thinking about how heavy severed heads are and how I could do with some help one of these days.

I must have missed something because my cart starts to tip and in the panic,
I drop one of the heads I’m carrying.

So I stick my foot in its path to stop it and doing that makes me drop another head.
To myself I think: “I could do with someone helping me with this”.
I always think that.

I pick up one of the heads and its eyes open.
The face is an off yellow colour and just before it’s eyes melt, it makes gurgling noises and mouths the word “You”.

And then I woke up horrified.

Pure Evil.

How’s this for evil…

…Or how about a little ZOLTAR!

What’s the matter?
Not evil enough for ya!?

Well what about THIS MANIAC THEN!:

All very scary and evil I’m sure you’ll agree.
But I’m here today to tell you about a new maniac in town.

More Disturbing!
More Shocking!

Pure.
Evil:

Aye that’s right.

Cunning Urban Foxes.

Just switched on the news there and heard about the babys in London who were mauled by a fox while they slept in their cots at home.

Read the full article HERE.

Obviously,
That’s terrible news and I hope those kids recover.

The news explained how dangerous and intelligent and cunning these “urban” foxes are and what bastards they’re capable of being and just so we got the message,
They then showed this picture:

Yep.
A fox trying to blend in as a person taking whilst riding the escalator down to the subway.

Dead clever them urban foxes.

Follow The Good Word! (…To The Letter).

In her recent radio show,
Dr. Laura Schlessinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a U.S. resident, which was posted on the Internet:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law.
I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

* Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
Can you clarify?
Why can’t I own Canadians?

* I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

* I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15: 19-24).
The problem is how do I tell?
I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

* When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9).
The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them.
Should I smite them?

* I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

* A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10),it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
I don’t agree.
Can you settle this?
Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

* Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.
I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.
Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

* Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.
How should they die?

* I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

* My uncle has a farm.
He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.
Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16).
Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14).

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman,
Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia.

(It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian) 🙂

Famous Last Words (Before Execution).

Carrying on from the previous post…

“You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother”.
Executed by electric chair.
– Francis “Two Gun” Crowley (Died: 1931).

 

“I love you”.
Spoken to his executioner.
Executed by lethal injection.
– Sean Flannagan (Died: June 23rd, 1989).

 

“How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries!'”
Executed by electric chair in Oklahoma, USA.
– James French (Died: 1966).

 

“Hurry it up you Hoosier bastard! I could hang a dozen men while you’re screwing around”.
Executed by hanging in Leavenworth, Kansas, USA.
– Carl Panzram (Died: September 5th, 1930).

 

“Well, the Lord is going to get another one”.
Executed by electric chair in Georgia, USA.
– John Eldon Smith (Died: December 15th, 1983).

 

“Today is a good day to die. I forgive all of you. I hope God does too”.
Executed by lethal injection in Virginia, USA.
– Mario Benjamin Murphy (Died: September 17th, 1997).

 

“Shoot me in the chest!”
Said to his executioners.
– Benito Mussolini (Italian Dictator. Died: 1945).

 

“Take a step closer lads. It will be easier that way”.
Executed by firing squad.
– Erskine Childers (Irish patriot. Died: November 24th, 1922).

 

“Shoot straight you bastards and don’t make a mess of it!”
Executed by firing squad.
– Harold Harbord “Breaker” Morant (Australian Poet. Died: 1902).

 

“Farewell my children forever. I go to your Father. Monsieur, I beg your pardon”.
Spoken to the executioner after she stepped on his foot.
– Mary Antoinette (Queen of France. Died: October 16th, 1793).

 

“Adios”.
Executed by lethal injection in Maryland, USA.
– John Thanos (Died: May 16th, 1994).

 

“Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel”.
Executed by electric chair in New York City, USA.
– George Appel (Died: 1928).

 

“Remember, the death penalty is murder”.
Executed by lethal injection in Texas, USA.
– Robert Drew (Died: August 2nd, 1994).

 

“You are going to hurt me, please don’t hurt me, just one moment, I beg you!”
Guillotined.
– Madame du Barry (Mistress of Louis XV. Died: 1793).

 

“I am innocent, innocent, innocent.
Make no mistake about this.
I owe society nothing.
I am an innocent man and something very wrong is taking place here tonight”.
Executed by lethal injection in Texas, USA.
– Lionel Herrera (Died: May 12th, 1993).

 

“You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the grim reaper”.
Executed by gas chamber in California, USA.
– Robert Alton Harris (Died: April 21st, 1992).

 

“I’d like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass”.
Executed by lethal injection in Texas, USA.
– Johnny Frank Garrett Sr. (Died: February 11th, 1992).

 

“I don’t hold any grudges.
This is my doing.
Sorry it happened”.
Executed by electric chair.
– Steven Judy (Died: March 9th, 1981).

 

“Let’s do it!”
Executed by firing squad in Utah, USA.
– Gary Gilmore (Died: January 17th, 1977).

 

“I did not get my spaghetti-O’s. I got spaghetti! I want the press to know this!”
Executed by lethal injection in Oklahoma, USA.
– Thomas J. Grasso (Died: March 20th, 1995).