The Vines Of Brittany Furlan!

I gave up watching TV a while ago because frankly, it’s bollocks. All of it.

I turned to Vine and found Brittany Furlan straight away and she’s now my favourite person on the entire internet. Actually, I’m probably in love with her! But anyway…

Brittany’s built up a massive fanbase by making amazingly funny Vine videos and the best part is that she is completely fucking one hundred per cent off her head MAD! The best people always are, aren’t they?

You can check out Brittany’s Vine profile HERE. These are some of my favourites so far…

You May Also Be Interested In…
* What REALLY Happened At The Emmys With Brittany Furlan
* Max Koch: “Cheetos With Bobby & Al (Al Pacino / Robert De Niro)
* Home Decorating: Ed Gein Style

The Tragedy & Comedy Of Jerry Sadowitz.

There’s Billy Connolly, Eddie Izzard, Rik Mayall and then there’s Jerry Sadowitz.

That’s the kind of comedy I’ve always been into but whilst Connolly, Izzard and Mayall are Worldwide household names, Sadowitz is practically broke and out of work for most of the time.

I’ve liked Jerry Sadowitz ever since I clapped eyes on him in the early 1990’s. He was right in your face and I liked the way he looked and I still think that he’s the best magician alive today. But most importantly, I think he’s funny as fuck!

I never got around to seeing Billy Connolly live but I’ve seen gigs  by Izzard and Mayall and just 2 weeks ago, Sadowitz.

A Jerry Sadowitz gig could be a terrifying experience for most folk. Resembling a psychopathic Punch & Judy puppet in a top hat, he saunters onto the stage and straight away gets ripped into everything that’s ever pissed him off.

He’s loud, aggressive, highly offensive, unapologetic and swears like machine gun fire. Whilst giving you both barrels at once, (Even though machine guns don’t have 2 barrels), he’s doing mind blowing  magic tricks without even giving it a second thought. I like him a lot and you can tell that most of the audience are glad to see him but he’s a hard guy to get a hold of. He almost never tours, has no merchandise on release and he personally removes almost all traces of himself on the internet.

Most folk in the know know that Frankie Boyle is the poor man’s Jerry Sadowitz. I’ve always thought that Frankie Boyle was a prick. (*2013 EDIT: I still think that but he’s awrite) Boyle comes across as if he’s been up for days on end, carefully planning his jokes out in an attempt to shock people. And Jerry Sadowitz seems to agree.

There’s a sadness to Sadowitz and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I always thought “Well, maybe it’s because he can’t get work” but then I’d think “All he needs to do is release some merchandise and he’d be fine”.
I think he thinks that he’d be selling out in some way if he released DVD’s etc… and I can only admire that.
(*2013 EDIT: I think that Jerry Sadowitz should NEVER release ANY merchandise!)

He sold out Glasgow’s Kings Theatre for a solid week and as I understand it, pissed off loads of easily offended people. One of his jokes was: “What’s blue and won’t fit?”
– “A dead epileptic”.

He spoke about rape, raping Z-Lister Vanessa Feltz while holding a meat cleaver to her throat, how soldiers are idiots and also how Madeline McCann‘s Mum would be attractive and worth raping if only she smiled more often. He’s never gonna be everyone’s cup of tea. But then again, not everybody drinks tea, do they? It’s easy to see how Jerry earned this reputation of being a complete and utter cunt.

Personally, I love the guy and I love that his website is fucking useless. He seems determined to make no money and at the same time, pissed off and bitter that he doesn’t make any.

At the end of the show I saw, he seemed to come out of character for a second to thank everyone for taking the time and money to come and see him – A wee glimmer of the man behind the psychopath.

Sadowitz granted The Daily Record (*2013 EDIT: THE DAILY RECORD ARE CUNTS!) a rare interview last month which has now mysteriously disappeared from the internet and it was one of the saddest things I’ve read in a long time. For the time being, you can read a similar interview with him HERE.

You May Also Be Interested In…
* Sadowitz On Savile
* Home Decorating: Ed Gein Style
* Max Koch: “Cheetos With Al & Bobby” (Al Pacino / Robert De Niro)

*

A Town Called Bel Air.

Also,
I hear there’s still plenty of room in at The Hotel California.

50 Cent On Twitter.

Do you use Twitter?

I do and I go through stages from liking it to total red hate for it and every single person on it including myself.
And that fucking ‘Fail Whale’ too…

I think a lot of people just use Twitter to talk to themselves really.
Then there are the ones who seem to think that they’re friends with the celebrities they follow.
That freaks me right the fuck out.

I thought about leaving Twitter last week but then I discovered 50 Cent’s account!

Have you seen his tweets?
They’re fucking Grade-A GOLD!
I seriously almost ended myself laughing a few days ago as I read through them all.

Here are just some of my favourite Fiddy Tweets so far:

“Yo todays been a good day so far but the roof of my mouth is sore cause I eat something that was too hot”

“After the movie I went to see my bitch shana cause she gives me free food. She work at the drive thru over at mc donalds and shit”

“Speaking of MILF. I wanna do something that impact kids in a positive way, thats why im opening an abortion clinic. Ima call it 50/50 chance”

“Ok look this aint twitter no more this the hood. And if any of you motherfucker say somthing crazy ima shoot the shit outta you”

Haha!

As he says himself,
He’s not dumb, just special.
Follow 50 HERE.

The Arlo Guthrie Concert 18/08/2010.

Me and Anna decided at the last minute to go see Arlo Guthrie in The Old Fruitmarket the other night.
Turned out to be a great idea too!

I’ve been listening to Woody & Arlo Guthrie for a long time now and my band used to cover Arlo’s “Coming Into Los Angeles” so I was pretty excited.

It’s a real shame that the ticket sales for this gig were low because Arlo put on a great solo show.
Just him, an acoustic guitar and a moothy.
He played old and new songs and even a few of his Dad’s too which was cool but it was his stories which cracked everyone up.

Matter of fact stories about how he only really remembers arriving to play at Woodstock in 1969 and not much else for weeks.
Stories about Ramblin’ Jack Elliott and playing 12 string guitar on top of Leadbelly’s grave.
The stories about Leadbelly and his Dad were amazing actually.

My favourite one was about the time Woody Guthrie started to get ill and checked himself into a psychiatric ward in an attempt to find out what was up with him.

After a while the doctor said to Mrs. Guthrie:
I’m afraid your Husband is not very well at all Mrs. Guthrie.
He has delusions of grandeur.
He believes that he’s a famous folk singer who has also penned a best selling book
”.

Arlo went on to say that after a while,
His Mother went to the hospital to get Woody out but by that time he’d made friends with some of the patients and didn’t want to leave.

Apparently nobody in the hospital believed Woody was who he said he was!
One day a fellow patient approached Woody and said:
I know who you are.
You’re Woody Guthrie.
You wrote the book “Bound For Glory” too
”.

Woody goes: “You read my book?

And the patient apparently went: “Nope. I ate it”.

🙂

Arlo Guthrie’s a great guitar player.
I never knew that.
Try and catch him if he plays in your town.

PS:
Did I mention that he likes to write poems to scare his children?
Look HERE.

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