Glasgow’s Clockwork Orange?

Last week an American feller asked me where he could find an all night blues bar in Glasgow and I had to tell them there wasn’t one.

I was gonna point him down to the The Scotia Bar where the blues and booze goes all the way into the morning.
But then I remembered that Bellhaven took over that bar a few years ago and all the old blues guys stopped going.
Then I remembered that that was why I stopped going.

It’s sometimes embarrassing because in New York these places are ten a penny.
Okay, a dozen a dime.

Really I’m just embarrassed at having to tell people that unlike New Yawk City,
There comes a time at night when Glasgow shuts down.

Glasgow.
The city that goes to sleep when it’s bedtime.

Most American tourists follow that up with:
“But it’s Saturday night!”

The tourists in work tend to ask about trains and transport.
The Underground.
The Subway.

Glasgow’s Clockwork Orange“.

I really like that name.
It’s affectionate but it’s only a name because:
(a) Who actually calls it “The Clockwork Orange”?
(b) Although the tracks go around in small circles and the trains (With the exception of all of the cream coloured ones) are all painted orange,
It very rarely runs like clockwork.

Trains never do though do they?

But aye!
Aye they do!

I heard a group from Berlin taking the piss out of the Glasgow subway a few days ago and they were quite right.

They couldn’t believe that it closes down at 6pm every Sunday and get this!
They laughed about the fact that you had to queue up in a line for a ticket and pay for it using actual money instead of a card with a chip in it.

A part of me thinks:
“Well go back to fucking Berlin then” but a bigger part of me is just embarrassed because they’re right.
And they are right.

Wait.
Are they?

They probably are.

P.S. Remember that guy who raced the Subway trains on his bike?

I liked that.

Balls & Noise.

I’ve found myself listening to opera recently.
No reason really.

Michael at work told me all about Puccini so I’m gonna investigate him soon because Michael says that when it comes to opera, Puccini is the very man!

I’ve also been making my way through a Stockhausen boxset and last week I got lost in every Sufjan Stevens’ record back to back but sometimes,
I just want Dirt & Rock & Roll. I’m talking about amps turned all the way up to 11.

It seems to me that fewer bands today are making any music with real balls and noise. There’s great new music out there made by millions of interesting artists but in terms of Hard, Loud, Dirty, Rock & Roll, who is there?

Here are 10 of the ballsiest records I own:

Neil Young: Live Rust. (1979).
Ballsiest Track: ‘Hey Hey, My My (Into The Black)‘.

Iggy Pop: Lust For Life. (1977).
Ballsiest Track: ‘Sixteen‘.

Nirvana: In Utero. (1993)
Ballsiest Track: ‘Radio Friendly Unit Shifter‘.

The Beatles: The White Album. (1968).
Ballsiest Track: ‘Yer Blues‘.

Black Sabbath: Paranoid. (1970).
Ballsiest Track: ‘War Pigs‘.

Rob Zombie: Hellbilly Deluxe. (1998).
Ballsiest Track: ‘Living Dead Girl‘.

Muddy Waters: Hard Again. (1977).
Ballsiest Track: ‘Mannish Boy‘.

Little Richard: Here’s Little Richard. (1957).
Ballsiest Track: ‘Long Tall Sally‘.

Led Zeppelin: Led Zeppelin II. (1969).
Ballsiest Track: ‘Heartbreaker‘.

The Stooges: Raw Power. (1973).
Ballsiest Track: ‘Search And Destroy‘.

I recommend getting all of those albums.
Especially “Raw Power” by The Stooges.
That record’s a monster!

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