Happy Birthday To Me?

It’s my Birthday!
Hip Hip Hooray!

Only kidding.
My Birthday isn’t ’till November 2nd but that’s not that far off.
I’d like these books:

Any of them actually.

An Old Man Thing.

I’ve found myself doing some ‘Old Man’ things lately.

There’s no good reason for it.
I was born on November 1981.
I’m 28.

I live alone so maybe that’s got something to do with it but I’ve always been like that so I doubt it.

This morning,
I spent a good half an hour looking…
No, staring at people out the window, wondering where they were going.
That’s an Old Man thing.

My ‘Old Man’ things don’t stop there though.

When I see half naked 20 year old drunk girls with legs that go on forever sauntering down Albion Street at 4 in the morning,
My first thought is: ‘Idiots. They must be fucking freezing’.

I go to bed late and get up early.
I make a sort of ‘Acccchhhhaye’ sound when I get out of a chair.
I hate clubs and luminous drinks.
I hate text speak and internet slang.
I hate that kids play swimming games on Wii’s instead of going swimming.

I spend far too much time remembering things too.
I remember…

When you had East & West Germany.

When you could go to a gig with a heavy, glass paneled beer tanker and ‘Ear Defenders’ weren’t advised or on offer.

When 10 cigarettes cost 75p and you could buy them from Woolworths (for your Granny) and smoke them in the cinema.

When only skinny people wore ‘skinny’ jeans and they weren’t called ‘Skinny jeans’. They were just called jeans.

Standing on top of a Police van and seeing Radiohead at T In The Park and wondering who they were.

Watching THIS, Live Aid and the fall of the Berlin Wall live on telly with my Family.

When T.V. stopped for the night and The National Anthem was played just like THIS.

When Johnny Depp was ‘that guy whose bed ate him’.

When film studios had original ideas.

Taping Prince’s latest single ‘Partyman’ off the radio.

Betamax, Laser and Flexi Discs and how much I hated them.

When Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan, Billy Connolly & Al Pacino looked like THIS, THIS, THIS & THIS.

I remember when Steve Martin’s hair wasn’t white.

Alright, alright.
I don’t actually remember when Steve Martin didn’t have white hair but look!
Apparently at one time he didn’t!

I’m moaning here.
That’s an ‘Old Man’ thing.

Fuck it.
I’ve always been old.
I was born old.

I like hanging about with older people.
I like listening to older people with stories to tell.
I like memories and folk who’ve done things in their lives.
I like hearing about the way things were.
I like to lean on railings in the afternoon and watch the town.

I like change too.
Obviously I like change!
You need it.

I still play on the swings on Glasgow Green every time I get the chance.
But these days,
I bring bread with me to feed the birds.

That’s an ‘Old Man’ thing.

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