Glasgow’s George Square Is OUR Rectangle!

The six new shortlisted designs for the revamp of Glasgow’s George Square have been unveiled and I’m almost speechless at how terrible and charmless they all are. ALL of them.

Luckily, I’m not completely speechless and I’d just like to take this opportunity to say this:

George Square Is OUR Rectangle! Leave those Victorian statues EXACTLY where they are!

The moving of Glasgow’s many Victorian statues like gigantic chess pieces is nothing new and it’s not that I or the many other people who live close to the square are against change. As a matter of fact, everybody I’ve personally spoken to is all for a revitalisation of George Square but, and listen carefully, as a PUBLIC and VERY GREEN space!

The statues that surround George Square have been discreetly moved over the years more than once but c’mon! They look so settled where they stand today. And everybody knows it except for the people in charge who very shortly are about to completely ruin George Square as we have come to know it.

Let’s take a look at the six new shortlisted designs for the Square and as always, click on the images to enlarge them.

Design One:




Design Two:




Design Three:



Design Four:




Design Five:




Design Six:




Design Six is apparently the current “most popular” design with Glaswegians. The best of a bad bunch I’d say.

I’m not very good expressing myself when I’m angry without using extreme profanities so here are some photos of how George Square has looked in the past…


George Square


G. Square





Fireworks Night 2012:


…and here are two panoramic shots of how George Square currently looks today…



Don’t tell me what you think.
Write to Glasgow City Council and/or a decent Glasgow Newspaper you trust.
So not The Daily Record.

Keep right up to date with everything by visiting: Restore George Square.

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Why ‘Signature’ And ‘Replica’ Guitars Are For Losers.

I’ve been a guitar player for almost 21 years now…

My very first guitar cost my parents 15 bucks. It was a 3/4 sized cherry sunburst acoustic and it came with horrible black nylon, plasticy strings which I replaced as soon as I figured out how. I’ve never ever seen black guitar strings since.

I got that guitar for my 10th birthday and I played it for about 5 hours every single day over the next few years. Regrettably, I gave that guitar away to a pal and the last I heard of it, it had been sprayed with silver or blue paint and as recently as 2004 it was still being passed around by kids in my home town interested in learning how to play.
I wish I still had it.

My second guitar wasn’t very much of an improvement on my first. Again, it was a nylon stringed acoustic costing 25 bucks from a catalogue. It was just like the kind of guitar used in Scottish high school music departments.

That guitar ended up falling off of a cliff and getting smashed into smithereens. Yep. A cliff.

I went through quite a few guitars after that and eventually ended up playing an electric Epiphone Les Paul. It was blue and sparkly and it really was a great guitar. I played it for years and by the time I was through with it, it was covered in scratches and dents and occasionally, blood. The paint below the scratch plate had worn away and the neck had even been broken and fixed but you know what? It didn’t matter because those scratches, dents, dings and breaks were made because of the way I play.

I took great care of that guitar but that doesn’t mean to say that I didn’t use it. Scratches and breaks are inevitable.

Whilst looking at Gibson Les Paul guitars on Ebay today I came across this:

Neil Young OLD BLACK Gibson Epiphone Les Paul Standard Gold Top – Bigsby Relic

Neil Young’s ‘OLD BLACK’!
Yours for only £1299.00!

– Except, that’s not Neil’s beloved Old Black because Neil has his beloved Old Black because it’s his. Nope, that’s a replicated version of Old Black and as you can see, it looks just like the real thing. Every scratch and modification has been painstakingly recreated exactly according to the original.

I have a problem with this kind of thing.
I think it’s a sad person who would spend money on this. Neil Young didn’t make or cause those scratches or (as I believe they are called in the business) ‘distress marks’. Some guy in a factory made those marks and besides, why would anybody want a new and unplayed guitar which is covered in scratches? It won’t make you sound like Neil Young my friend. Neil Young sounds like Neil Young because he’s Neil Young and because he does things like this:

That guitar is not beat up. It just looks beat up. It’s never been played and ironically it’s listed on Ebay as: “A new, unused item with absolutely no signs of wear.”

What we have here is simply an overpriced Les Paul Epiphone. The original ‘Old Black’ was and still is:
(a) Old.
(b) A 1953 Gibson Les Paul Goldtop which was crudely painted over with black paint and then heavily modified by Neil Young.

Do you see what I’m getting at here?
If your guitar ends up as beat up as this cheap imitation looks, it should be in that condition because you really used your guitar over the years.

I also have a problem with the money that is charged for shoddy items like this.

A beat up and broken VOX amp that Jimi Hendrix once pissed on and then set fire to?
– Nah. I’ll take a fully working and un-pissed upon VOX amp that hasn’t been set alight thanks.

A beautiful cherry sunburst guitar that has been defaced by the signature of Slash in thick black marker?
– I think you see where I’m going here don’t you?

I hope you do because this isn’t what guitars are for. Play your guitar every day and before you know it, you’ll have a style all of your own and if the Gibson Company one day approach you to authorise your very own signature brand?
– Tell them to EFF OFF!

You May Also Be Interested In…
* Neil Young’s Sound
* A 1997 Gibson Custom Shop Les Paul Florentine
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Dead Bodies On Mount Everest.

Meet “Green Boots”.

“Green Boots” is just one of the 200 or so dead bodies on Mount Everest’s ‘Death Zone’ and because the recovery of  corpses like Green Boots is pretty much impossible, each one like him is named and used as a landmark on the Death Zone.

Climbers attempting to reach Everest’s summit will typically spend substantial time within the ‘Death Zone’ (altitudes higher than 8,000 metres (26,000 ft)), and face significant challenges to survival.

Temperatures can dip so low in the Death Zone that any part of the human body exposed to the air can result in instant frostbite. Another major threat to climbers is the atmospheric pressure which at the top of Mount Everest, is about a third of sea level pressure or 0.333 standard atmospheres, resulting in the availability of only about a third as much oxygen as normal to breathe. A lot of the people lying in the Death Zone simply went to sleep and never woke up.

Although, who’d want to?

The extreme weather conditions on Everest mean that a lot of the bodies are discovered showing little signs of decay…

This is George Mallory:

George Herbert Leigh Mallory was an English mountaineer who took part in the first three British expeditions to Mount Everest in the early 1920s.

During the 1924 British Mount Everest Expedition, Mallory and his climbing partner Andrew “Sandy” Irvine both disappeared somewhere high on the North-East ridge during their attempt to make the first ascent of the world’s highest mountain. The pair’s last known sighting was only a few hundred metres from the summit.

Mallory’s ultimate fate was unknown for 75 years, until his body was discovered in 1999 by an expedition that had set out to search for the climbers’ remains. Whether or not Mallory and Irvine reached the summit before they died remains a subject of speculation and continuing research.

This is how George Mallory looks these days:

Climbers on Everest often stumble upon injured men and woman along the way but have no way of helping them because of the location and the dangerous conditions and so, there is no choice but to leave them to die. Two climbers once stumbled upon one such unfortunate woman who yelled at them “Please don’t leave me!” The climbers promised the woman that they would return whilst knowing that there was no way they possibly could.

Consumed with guilt and after spending many years saving money, the climbers returned to the woman and gave her a proper burial.

This is not her:

It can cost anything between $25k and $6ok to make a trip to the summit of Mount Everest and many Everest climbers have said that the hardest part is passing all of the graves and human remains.

And who can blame them?

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Old Woman Ruins A Prized Jesus Christ Fresco.

Today’s Moron Of The Day award goes to the elderly, well meaning idiot, Cecilia Gimenez.

Courtesy of The Independent

An elderly woman has destroyed a 19th-century Spanish fresco in a botched restoration conducted without permission.

Three separate photos show the extent of the damage done by the unnamed (Cecilia Gimenez) woman to Elias Garcia Martinez’s work ‘Ecce Homo’.

The damage was discovered after Martinez’s granddaughter made a donation to the Centro de Estudios Borjanos which holds an archive of local religious artworks, a couple of weeks ago.

Staff then went to check on the work at the Santuario de Misericodia church in Borja, near Zaragoza in north eastern Spain, only to find it dramatically altered.

The three photographs show the changing face of the artwork over the last two years.

In the first photograph, taken in 2010, slight speckling is apparent. In the second photograph, taken just last month, large patches of white dominate the picture. One theory is that the elderly woman had already begun her work on the painting at this point, and the white marks are the result of her scraping away the paint.

The third photograph shows the image transformed beyond recognition, with a childlike reworking of Jesus’ face, broad brush strokes removing any subtlety from the clothing and thick layers of red and brown paint covering several key details, including the crown of thorns.

Despite the terrible results, the restoration, which was completed without permission, is not thought to have been malicious; rather the work of an enthusiastic, if somewhat misguided, amateur who lived near to the church and simply wanted to repair the ageing artwork.

Culture councillor Juan Maria de Ojeda was quoted in the Spanish newspaper El Pais taking a somewhat sympathetic tone, saying the elderly perpetrator had undertaken the project “with good intentions” and had reported and admitted causing the damage when she realised it had “gotten out of hand”.

Despite being a work of little artistic importance, and not part of any painting or altarpiece, it did have some local sentimental value.

“The family used to come here to spend the holidays. One summer the artist made the portrait and bequeathed it to the people,” Ojeda said.

The damage is currently being assessed in an attempt to work out exactly what materials the amateur restorer used. The long-term hope is that a professional may be able to remove the layers of paint and restore the work to some semblance of its former state.

You May Also Be Interested In…
* Uh Oh…We Got A Moron Here!
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A Wee Knitted Elephant Man!

I love this.
I flaming well LOVE IT!

Found on the brilliant Flickr page of someone called ‘MaffersToys’, a wee knitted Elephant Man!

From the Flickr page:

“I am NOT AN ELEPHANT. I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! I am a human being! I’m… a man.”

A toy version of Joseph Carey (aka John) Merrick, also known as The Elephant Man. In spite of what many people assumed of him upon sight, he was a highly affectionate, caring and intelligent man for whom I have the utmost respect..

I decided to publish the pattern, so see my profile if you are interested.

View MafferToys’ Flickr set HERE.
Read all about Joseph Merrick HERE.

You May Also Be Interested In:
* Susan’s Custom Creepy Dolls
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