There is hope for all of you rubbish aspiring authors yet!
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* Make Mine A Harlot
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This week I’ve been mainly listening to bagpipes.
Bagpipes.
Bagpipes.
BAGPIPES!
How I love their strangled cat whiney out of tune sound.
It’s bagpipe season here in Glasgow and tomorrow morning I’ll be getting out of bed at 4.30am to work at the World Pipe Band Championships on Glasgow Green where there will be HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of bagpipers strangling out of tune whiney cats for 16 hours.
It’s gonna be a long day and I’ve brought it all on myself.
I’m Scottish through and through and I don’t really mind a lone piper as long as he’s ALONE and WAY up a hill somewhere but I think that the sound of thousands of pipers tomorrow is gonna properly unhinge me 🙂
UPDATE:
I really enjoyed The World Pipe Band Championships.
It turned out to be a great day!
Also, this guy was there:
I had a bad dream this morning.
I dreamed that me and my pal Vicky were walking through Glasgow’s George Square, two of the few survivors of…THE ATTACK OF GIANT CREMATED (Yet somehow) RE-ANIMATED SPIDERS FROM SPACE!
Yep, you guessed it.
So there was me and Vicky walking through the wrecked town.
We discussed our situation and occasionally we’d catch sight of big shadows down alleys.
Shadows of big fuck-off spiders eating babys!
We sat down on the one bench in George Square which wasn’t covered in giant neon green space cobwebs or on fire and had ourselves a smoke.
We were remarkably calm.
Vicky was like: “So what are we gonna do? Kill those big fuck off spiders ourselves?”
Me: “Eh, You’re forgetting that the spiders are Cremated and yet somehow, Re-Animated Spiders! We can’t kill them silly! They’re already zombie spiders Vickster!”
So, we just sat there like idiots, trying to remember how Cillian Murphy dealt with similar things in that film “28 Days Later” when all of a sudden I noticed an old woman’s body across the road.
Vicky and I crept over to investigate the body when it started shaking.
We could see moving bumps all over the dead woman’s skin until her mouth opened and THOUSANDS of wee baby giant cremated (yet somehow) re-animated spiders from space covered me and Vicky from head to toe and…
…then I woke up.
I don’t usually have dreams that are that ridiculous.
I’m blaming all of this on Vicky because she’s in Beijing just now and last week she put this photo up on her blog:
That’s Vicky eating a cremated spider because apparently, that’s what you do when you go to Beijing.
She doesn’t look too pleased does she?
Looks all crunchy too!
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Find out why only in “Safe At Home” – The latest installment of Al Cook’s “Necropolis”.
The Unravelling Of Al Cook... 