Al Cook’s “Necropolis”. Cut Loose: Part I.

Part II was supposed to be out long before now but I had conflicting ideas of where I wanted it to go.
Zip on over to Al Cook’s “Necropolis” to see Part I of ‘Cut Loose’ in all its glory and where Part II will appear in the not to distant future.

Oh aye!
Please become a pal on the Facebook Page because it’s pretty lonely over there.

The Scariest Moment Of My Life.

The back of the photo says it was taken on June 1982 and although you may not believe me, I remember this like it happened yesterday,
Because…It was the scariest moment of my life!

Aye that’s right.
When I was a kid my Mum & Dad bought a big 5 foot tall terrifying knitted clown and put it to bed with me.
– Every night!
– For years!
They thought I liked it!
…Right up until I could talk and tell them everything. Y’know, how I’d been living in fear etc…

That clown is long gone now. I threw it out myself.
I’m 30 in a couple of weeks and sometimes, just sometimes, I get the feeling that it’s just waiting to show up again and whisper bad things in my ears like it used to.

“Kill for me baby Alan! Kill for me and I’ll give you all the rusks you want!” it would say.

I can’t go on.
The memories are still just too disturbing for me 😦

Introducing A 5 Year Old To Horror Cinema.

I’m trying to wean my 5 year old Nephew Asa off of the computer games he constantly plays.
He plays this simple flash game where you’re a stickman sniper and you have to take out other stickmen with a rifle!
Last night he even had a nightmare where a gunman came into his room and shot him!
I don’t like it one bit…

As his Uncle who loves him, I can’t let this go on and although I was originally gonna save this talk for his 8th Birthday, today I introduced him to the beauty of horror cinema!
Nothing too graphic.
– Just a few slimey sea monsters and creatures to start him off…

It didn’t take as long as I thought it would either which gave me enough time to teach my 1 year old Niece Orla how to do an impression of the Zoltar machine from the movie “Big”…

The Sound Of Music At Sloans.

“The Hills are alllliiiivvveee with the sound of mmmmmmuuuussssiiiccc!”

Going by these photos you wouldn’t think it but I ended up enjoying Sloan’s screening of “The Sound Of Music”.
I’d never seen it before but it’s one of Anna’s favourites so I gave it a go.

Well, just as I expected. Total chick flick but that Julie Andrews can run REALLY fast can’t she?
Ever noticed that?
If I was James Cameron I would’ve cast HER as the T-1000 instead of Robert Patrick.

I enjoyed the “The Sound Of Music” but I would say that “Werevolves On Wheels” and “Deranged: Confessions Of A Necrophile” (Which I watched when I got home that night) are better movies.

I’m sure the only other two men at “The Sound Of Music” screening would agree with me.
Maybe I’ll ask them if I see them at Sloan’s upcoming screening of “JAWS”!
Ah, Jaws…what a classic…


I had a bad dream this morning.
I dreamed that me and my pal Vicky were walking through Glasgow’s George Square, two of the few survivors of…THE ATTACK OF GIANT CREMATED (Yet somehow) RE-ANIMATED SPIDERS FROM SPACE!

Yep, you guessed it.

So there was me and Vicky walking through the wrecked town.
We discussed our situation and occasionally we’d catch sight of big shadows down alleys.
Shadows of big fuck-off spiders eating babys!
We sat down on the one bench in George Square which wasn’t covered in giant neon green space cobwebs or on fire and had ourselves a smoke.
We were remarkably calm.

Vicky was like: “So what are we gonna do? Kill those big fuck off spiders ourselves?”

Me: “Eh, You’re forgetting that the spiders are Cremated and yet somehow, Re-Animated Spiders! We can’t kill them silly! They’re already zombie spiders Vickster!”

So, we just sat there like idiots, trying to remember how Cillian Murphy dealt with similar things in that film “28 Days Later” when all of a sudden I noticed an old woman’s body across the road.

Vicky and I crept over to investigate the body when it started shaking.
We could see moving bumps all over the dead woman’s skin until her mouth opened and THOUSANDS of wee baby giant cremated (yet somehow) re-animated spiders from space covered me and Vicky from head to toe and…

…then I woke up.

I don’t usually have dreams that are that ridiculous.
I’m blaming all of this on Vicky because she’s in Beijing just now and last week she put this photo up on her blog:

That’s Vicky eating a cremated spider because apparently, that’s what you do when you go to Beijing.

She doesn’t look too pleased does she?
Looks all crunchy too!

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