The Vines Of Brittany Furlan!

I gave up watching TV a while ago because frankly, it’s bollocks. All of it.

I turned to Vine and found Brittany Furlan straight away and she’s now my favourite person on the entire internet. Actually, I’m probably in love with her! But anyway…

Brittany’s built up a massive fanbase by making amazingly funny Vine videos and the best part is that she is completely fucking one hundred per cent off her head MAD! The best people always are, aren’t they?

You can check out Brittany’s Vine profile HERE. These are some of my favourites so far…

You May Also Be Interested In…
* What REALLY Happened At The Emmys With Brittany Furlan
* Max Koch: “Cheetos With Bobby & Al (Al Pacino / Robert De Niro)
* Home Decorating: Ed Gein Style

Thoughts On Rik Mayall.

I’d like to talk about Rik Mayall who died last month.

Rik Mayall meant and still very much means a lot to me. I learned (And stole, and continue to steal) a lot from Rik. He was a giant to me.

I can’t be bothered to delve into my vast (VAST!) library of books (Of which I have definitely read!) and look up what Stephen Fry said about Rik in his book, “The Fry Chronicles”, but he described Rik Mayall along these lines…

He could be silly, charming, childish, vain and inconsequential in a way that simply and unequivocally delighted. You didn’t question it, analyse it, applaud its cleverness, appreciate its social meaning or admire the work behind it, you simply adored it, as you would any natural phenomenon.”

Stephen Fry seems like a lovely person. I like how Stephen Fry sounds like Stephen Fry even in text. (That’s probably because he IS Stephen Fry…). Anyway, I think that Stephen Fry shouldn’t be so hard on himself. But I’ll address that another time. We’re talking about Rik Mayall here!

I have almost died from laughing twice in my life. The first time was Rik Mayall’s fault and the second time was Billy Connolly’s fault. I wonder if they could’ve been arrested by the Police if I had have expired? I really must look that up just in case I ever see anyone funny on BBC THREE.

A few ‘modern’ ‘comedians’ have also almost made me die (Hi, BBC THREE ‘comedians’!) but only from sighing and as far as I know, they can’t be arrested and sent down for life for that yet. Although, that should be a jail-able offence! I’m friends with the Fuzz, y’know!

I had an oppurchoonity to meet Rik once after I went to see a play of his because I go to see plays all the time but I decided not to in the end. After all, what would I have said? “Hi Rik, I’m Al! I go and see plays ALL the time!”? No, I don’t think so.

So I didn’t.

And that’s that.

Goodbye Rik Mayall. I will miss you.

…And hey, if I ever get the opporchoonity to meet Stephen Fry, I will do it! He seems like a bloody nice feller…


You May Also Be Interested In…
* This Video Of Rik Being Great
* Rik Mayall Presents…Briefest Encounter


Published in: on July 15, 2014 at 16:21  Leave a Comment  
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The Tragedy & Comedy Of Jerry Sadowitz.

There’s Billy Connolly, Eddie Izzard, Rik Mayall and then there’s Jerry Sadowitz.

That’s the kind of comedy I’ve always been into but whilst Connolly, Izzard and Mayall are Worldwide household names, Sadowitz is practically broke and out of work for most of the time.

I’ve liked Jerry Sadowitz ever since I clapped eyes on him in the early 1990’s. He was right in your face and I liked the way he looked and I still think that he’s the best magician alive today. But most importantly, I think he’s funny as fuck!

I never got around to seeing Billy Connolly live but I’ve seen gigs  by Izzard and Mayall and just 2 weeks ago, Sadowitz.

A Jerry Sadowitz gig could be a terrifying experience for most folk. Resembling a psychopathic Punch & Judy puppet in a top hat, he saunters onto the stage and straight away gets ripped into everything that’s ever pissed him off.

He’s loud, aggressive, highly offensive, unapologetic and swears like machine gun fire. Whilst giving you both barrels at once, (Even though machine guns don’t have 2 barrels), he’s doing mind blowing  magic tricks without even giving it a second thought. I like him a lot and you can tell that most of the audience are glad to see him but he’s a hard guy to get a hold of. He almost never tours, has no merchandise on release and he personally removes almost all traces of himself on the internet.

Most folk in the know know that Frankie Boyle is the poor man’s Jerry Sadowitz. I’ve always thought that Frankie Boyle was a prick. (*2013 EDIT: I still think that but he’s awrite) Boyle comes across as if he’s been up for days on end, carefully planning his jokes out in an attempt to shock people. And Jerry Sadowitz seems to agree.

There’s a sadness to Sadowitz and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I always thought “Well, maybe it’s because he can’t get work” but then I’d think “All he needs to do is release some merchandise and he’d be fine”.
I think he thinks that he’d be selling out in some way if he released DVD’s etc… and I can only admire that.
(*2013 EDIT: I think that Jerry Sadowitz should NEVER release ANY merchandise!)

He sold out Glasgow’s Kings Theatre for a solid week and as I understand it, pissed off loads of easily offended people. One of his jokes was: “What’s blue and won’t fit?”
– “A dead epileptic”.

He spoke about rape, raping Z-Lister Vanessa Feltz while holding a meat cleaver to her throat, how soldiers are idiots and also how Madeline McCann‘s Mum would be attractive and worth raping if only she smiled more often. He’s never gonna be everyone’s cup of tea. But then again, not everybody drinks tea, do they? It’s easy to see how Jerry earned this reputation of being a complete and utter cunt.

Personally, I love the guy and I love that his website is fucking useless. He seems determined to make no money and at the same time, pissed off and bitter that he doesn’t make any.

At the end of the show I saw, he seemed to come out of character for a second to thank everyone for taking the time and money to come and see him – A wee glimmer of the man behind the psychopath.

Sadowitz granted The Daily Record (*2013 EDIT: THE DAILY RECORD ARE CUNTS!) a rare interview last month which has now mysteriously disappeared from the internet and it was one of the saddest things I’ve read in a long time. For the time being, you can read a similar interview with him HERE.

You May Also Be Interested In…
* Sadowitz On Savile
* Home Decorating: Ed Gein Style
* Max Koch: “Cheetos With Al & Bobby” (Al Pacino / Robert De Niro)


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