Thoughts On Rik Mayall.

I’d like to talk about Rik Mayall who died last month.

Rik Mayall meant and still very much means a lot to me. I learned (And stole, and continue to steal) a lot from Rik. He was a giant to me.

I can’t be bothered to delve into my vast (VAST!) library of books (Of which I have definitely read!) and look up what Stephen Fry said about Rik in his book, “The Fry Chronicles”, but he described Rik Mayall along these lines…

He could be silly, charming, childish, vain and inconsequential in a way that simply and unequivocally delighted. You didn’t question it, analyse it, applaud its cleverness, appreciate its social meaning or admire the work behind it, you simply adored it, as you would any natural phenomenon.”

Stephen Fry seems like a lovely person. I like how Stephen Fry sounds like Stephen Fry even in text. (That’s probably because he IS Stephen Fry…). Anyway, I think that Stephen Fry shouldn’t be so hard on himself. But I’ll address that another time. We’re talking about Rik Mayall here!

I have almost died from laughing twice in my life. The first time was Rik Mayall’s fault and the second time was Billy Connolly’s fault. I wonder if they could’ve been arrested by the Police if I had have expired? I really must look that up just in case I ever see anyone funny on BBC THREE.

A few ‘modern’ ‘comedians’ have also almost made me die (Hi, BBC THREE ‘comedians’!) but only from sighing and as far as I know, they can’t be arrested and sent down for life for that yet. Although, that should be a jail-able offence! I’m friends with the Fuzz, y’know!

I had an oppurchoonity to meet Rik once after I went to see a play of his because I go to see plays all the time but I decided not to in the end. After all, what would I have said? “Hi Rik, I’m Al! I go and see plays ALL the time!”? No, I don’t think so.

So I didn’t.

And that’s that.

Goodbye Rik Mayall. I will miss you.

…And hey, if I ever get the opporchoonity to meet Stephen Fry, I will do it! He seems like a bloody nice feller…

Rik

You May Also Be Interested In…
* This Video Of Rik Being Great
* Rik Mayall Presents…Briefest Encounter
* GASMAN! GASMAN! GASMAN!

 

Published in: on July 15, 2014 at 16:21  Leave a Comment  
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There’s Yer Dinner!

Would you like me to tell you a wee story?

NO?!
– Well I’m going to tell you anyway.

The year was approximately 1989…

…and in 1989 my Mum was a barmaid.
When my Dad wasn’t working day shifts, he was working night shifts and so quite often, my folks were left with only 3 options:
1. Leave me home alone.
2. Pay some babysitter to be terrorised by me.
3. Take me to work with them.
So, more often than not, I’d get to go to the bar with my Mum to watch her work. It was brilliant!

I’d get to sit on a barstool which I had to jump up onto and drunks would pay me to draw pictures of them. They weren’t all drunks but they mostly were. Old guys with rambling stories and lived in faces. Deep lined faces. Interesting faces. Drawing-wise, it was a real school for me.

There was this particular guy. A horrible guy. An old miserable bastard of a man. Every day he would sit hunched over whatever the hell it was he used to drink pints of and mutter swear words away to himself until he was too drunk to talk.

I loved Elvis at the time (Still do!) and I remember this old git who we’ll call…Auld Norrie, telling me that…
(a) Elvis couldn’t play guitar.
(b) People who play the guitar are idiots.
(c) Elvis never wrote his own songs.
(d) People who wrote songs were poofs.
(e) Elvis dyed his blonde hair black.
(f) Elvis was a Mummy’s Boy.
(g) Elvis was probably a poof.

As you can imagine, Auld Norrie was a delight.

He used to steal loo roll from the bathroom, Auld Norrie. His pockets would be stuffed with it.

I never saw him ever talk to anyone in the bar. I never saw him with anyone. His skin was yellow and he was dirty and greasy. I remember thinking to myself that he probably had no one in his life. But I was wrong.

Because one day, the doors of the bar flew open and a woman marched in! A woman in her 50’s who was quite made-up, but you could tell that the make-up was having a tough time trying to conceal the obvious years of misery she’d put up with.

She was carrying something shiny and silver. She had bags with her…

She marched over to Auld Norrie and banged this silver thing down in front of him and said…“THAT’S THE LAST SUNDAY DINNER YOU’LL EVER GET OFF ME!” and then stormed out without looking back.

There was stone silence in the place and I was fixated on this old git. Everybody was.

He peeked under the silver foil and seeing that indeed, there was a full Sunday roast dinner on a plate, he took the foil off and I’ll never forget what he did next.

Very slowly, he opened his manky jacket and put his hand carefully in his inside pocket and pulled out…

A KNIFE AND FORK!

And then he wolfed the whole dinner down! Scranned the entire lot in about 2 minutes flat!

Then after that, he just went right back to being hunched over and drinking and muttering away to himself about “fucking bitches”.

I was about 8 or 9. It was amazing!

He’s dead now, Auld Norrie.
He lay dead for about 10 days at the bottom of his stairs before anybody noticed.

Norrie (Version 3)

You May Also Be Interested In…
* “Hey Buddy, Did You Just See A Real Bright Light?”
* “New York City: A True 8th Avenue Tale” By Bob Heaney
* A Sinister Tennant

“Back To The Future” I & II Comparison.

Cinematic trivia utterly fascinates me. It’s mostly what I use the internet for and this little nugget from “Back To The Future: Part II” always impressed me:

Claudia Wells (Jennifer in “Back To The Future“) was unable to reprise her role as she had stopped acting because her mother had been diagnosed with cancer. Elisabeth Shue was then cast as Jennifer, and all the closing shots of “Back To The Future” were re-shot for the beginning of this film.”

“Back To The Future” and “Back To The Future: Part II” were shot roughly 4 years apart and Michael J. Fox visibly aged a little.

Folks, we didn’t have Youtube while I was growing up but I’m glad we do now because…

You May Also Be Interested In…
* “Back To The Future” Concept Art
* “The Godfather”: Robert DeNiro’s Audition Tape
* On The Set: The Movie Filming Locations Channel

Home Taping Is Killing Music And It’s Illegal.

I found this on the back of a recently bought vinyl copy of “Before The Flood” by Bob (The most bootleged artist in history) Dylan & The Band. I don’t think it appears on the backs of any of the other LPs I own…

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I seem to remember similar ads in the 1980’s which threatened JAIL TIME if you taped music from the radio! When I go to the cinema these days and they run an anti-piracy advert before the film, it only serves to remind me of the films that I need to illegally download because they’re not commercially available to buy. If they are available, they’re watered down cuts of the film or edited for violence or something silly like that.

Bob Dylan & The Band’s “Before The Flood” is a live recording from 1974 and it really is amazing! A great companion piece to the record would either be the 1974 bootleg soundboard recordings “Paint the Daytime Black” or “Oakland Flood”, but if you want those you’ll have to download them in an illegal fashion. Here’s the artwork so you know what you’re looking for…

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…And from Wikipedia, here’s a copy and paste job (A theft if you will) about “Home Taping Is Killing Music”…

Home Taping Is Killing Music” was the slogan of a 1980s anti-copyright infringement campaign by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI), a British music industry trade group. With the rise in cassette recorder popularity, the BPI feared that people being able to record music from the radio onto cassettes would cause a decline in record sales. The logo, consisting of a Jolly Roger formed from the silhouette of a compact cassette, also included the words And It’s Illegal.

The campaign has in recent years had its revival, as the Norwegian branch of IFPI launched a new campaign named Piracy Kills Music. The campaign has exactly the same message, same name and even very similar logos. The campaign won the Norwegian 2008 Gulltaggen award for “Best Internet Strategy” with much controversy.

An early ‘proponent’ of home taping was Malcolm McLaren who was at the time managing the British band Bow Wow Wow. In 1980 the band released their cassette single “C30, C60, C90 Go” on a cassette that featured a blank other side that the buyer could record their own music on. The band’s record label, EMI, dropped the group shortly afterwards because the single allegedly promoted home taping.

Some Drawings By The 13 Year Old Me…

My Mum unearthed some long lost drawings I did at school when I was 13 and gave them to me today.

Although they’re not very good at all, I remember getting really pissed off at the teacher for writing score marks on the actual drawing itself! Even the thought of it gets to me now and I’m 31! Ha Ha!

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