Let’s just assume that I wasn’t born in Motherwell, raised in Holytown and Bellshill, and let’s assume that I don’t live on Duke Street in Glasgow these days okay?
Matter of fact, let’s just assume that I’m not even Scottish.
Let’s imagine that while I’m not stupid, I don’t know what the orange order is or why its marches are allowed to cause so much disruption and why they generally just drain our police and ambulance resources.
Let’s say that I don’t have a computer and so I can’t google the orange order and everything that it stands for.
Let’s just assume that I’m a tourist from somewhere far away that isn’t Lanarkshire or Glasgow.
How would you explain the orange order and its marches to me?
For or against – I’m all ears.
How would you explain the marches on Duke Street which competely block off road access to the Royal Infirmary hospital and the Fire Station?
How would you explain away the fact that the ‘bands’ are never in tune with each other and what would you say if I was to tell you that 10 beetroot-red, fat men in Rangers football tops pissed all over the bushes outside my folk’s house today at 1 in the afternoon in front of kids?
What does football have to do with it all anyways?
Do the people in the Rangers tops even know what they’re supporting?
Do the people in the Celtic tops (Who claim to be the voice of reason during marching season) even realise that they’re only wearing celtic tops just to spite the ones wearing Rangers tops?
I doubt it but gaun, explain away!
I was born yesterday.