I have a new neighbour. I think he moved in a few weeks ago.
He lives in the same building as me but around the corner. I began to suspect him of being a weirdo almost as soon as he moved in because every single night, I pass his window on my way home from work, and every single night, he’s up there. Staring out at me. He looks like Norman Bates’ Mother from “Psycho”.
I’d come home from work at 6pm and he’d be there.
I’d come home from work at 2am and he’d be there.
Anna and I walked past last week and there he was. Anna thought he was creepy and I agreed. I also told her that he was a rude motherfucker on account of him never ever waving back at me whenever I would give him a friendly neighbourly wave. I don’t like him.
Yesterday I left the house at 7am and there he was again!Standing and staring as he usually does like a…fucking…
…A fucking…cardboard cut-out of David Tennant?
As I was taking those night photos, a scuzzy hooker with a Blackpool accent was barking at me, asking if I was looking for business. “Can’t you see I’m busy here?” I said. Who knows what she thought.
That’s Glesga fur ye!