The Future’s Bright, The Future’s Fucked.

Last month I overheard two teenage lassies on the bus say “LOL” to each other instead of actually laughing.

Yes it made me despair for the entire future of Humans.
And yes it made me want to smash their screwed up orange faces in.

Actually,
Seeing that made me want to smash my own face in but the way I see it;
If you can’t kill ’em,
Laugh at ’em.

I accept that a lot of kids these days are complete morons.

So I went and looked up an Internet Slang Dictionary.
It’s fucking ridiculous and sad and hilarious all at once and here are some of the best ones I found:
(P.S. 3 of these are made up by me. See if you can spot them).

BOBFOC: Body of Baywatch, Face of Crimewatch.

MLOD: Mega laugh out loud of doom.

MWSMIRL: Maybe we should meet in real life.

DIAF: Die in a fire.

ODAY: Software illegally obtained before it was released.

A3: Anyplace, anywhere, anytime.

BUTTERFACE: Everything is hot but her face.

FMNKML: Fuck me now, kiss me later.

CODE 9: Parents are watching.

DYCOTFC: Do you cyber on the first chat?

FGI: Fucking Google it.

BWPWAP: Back when Pluto was a planet.

AFCPMGO: Away from computer parents may go on.

LIWDAD: Like I would do a disabled.

OFN: Old fucking news.

AMIIGAF: Ask me if I give a fuck.

BB4H: Bros before hoes.

CYA: Cover your ass.

FANF: Fancy a nostril fuck?

LOLLERCAUST: An extreme event of hilarity.

IRSOAK: I’d rather sit on a knife.

SINGLE: Stay intoxicated nightly, get laid everyday.

So there you go parents.
That’s what your kids are getting up to on the computer.

This is my favourite:

SOFAS: Stepping out for a smoke.

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. FANF was surely made up by you… Although it would be hilarious if that was real!

    I also think IRSOAK is yours. It’s too random, it has a bit of an Al Cook sound to it AND I think the kids of today are too stupid to know that knife begins with a k.

    Some of these are more complicated to type than the actual words!

    I think we’re old, Al Cook….

  2. I think I possibly am getting old.
    Old and predictable because those two are indeed mine.

    But that’s okay.

    Still one to go smartarse. 🙂

  3. Back when pluto was a planet has got to be yours, i doupt the 16 year olds who use this crap know what thats all about. or then… it could be one of the significant things in the youths of todays lifetime that they can hold onto so they oversaturate the face that they do know… i dont know… shouldnt have had the big brownie that time.

  4. Sadly,

    “Back When Pluto Was A Planet” ain’t mine.

    Worrying eh?


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