“Hoors” By Gregory Burke.

Last night I went to see the play “Hoors” by Gregory Burke at The Tron Theatre, Glasgow.


Look at that poster.
In a coffin!

There was no way I wasn’t gonna see that really!

Here’s the synopsis from the flyer:

“Small Town, Fife.
Andy and Vicky were going to get married tomorrow.

Trouble is, Andy’s stag weekend was so epic, so legendary, he didn’t make it to his own wedding. The finest pleasures that Amsterdam and Hamburg can offer finally put paid to him getting to the altar. Drink, drugs and a final Mile High fling with a budget airline stewardess bring him down to earth with a bump.

Now it’s time for the postmortem as Vicky, her sister Nikki and his mates Tony and Stevie piece together what happened then and where they go now.

Gregory Burke’s Hoors is a wickedly black comedy about a group of twenty-thirtysomethings who wake up and find the party’s over.”

Sounds pretty interesting right?
And…I suppose it was.

It was well cast and acted.
Escpecially the 2 guys but the thing is,
The play didn’t really have any meaning or relevance for me.

I don’t really know what the hell the point in anything that went on was or what happened at the end.
The only message I got from it was:
“Fuck Everything! Because what’s the point?”

Not that I was out to find messages in it.

I don’t suppose that’s a bad message 🙂 but there didn’t seem to be much else to it.
The characters all seemd like cold hearted bastards who don’t mind lying & fucking each other over for the sake of it.
I didn’t care about any of the characters.

There were 4 characters in all.
Well 5, If you count the coffin.
2 Sisters, 2 guys.

Both male actors were excellent considering the bland dialogue they had to work with.
One guy was an utter sleaze who was likeable only because of the actor playing the part and how good he was.
The other male character was pathetic and useless and also only watchable for the same reason.

The 2 women were nothing to talk about without using the words: overdoing it & overRSAMDing it.

Here’s what the synopsis should have been:

“Guy dies on his stag night.
His widow gets fucked on wine & tranquilizers with her sister in a house.

Turns out she didn’t care much for her now deceased feller.
He’s in a coffin in the room.

His 2 ‘friends’ come over, drink, take cocaine (On top of the coffin) and try and fuck the sisters.

They fail.
They leave.”

Don’t get me wrong,
The patter was pretty good.
It was a very Scottish play thus: Full of creative swearing.
Trouble is, Overall, It went nowhere.

It looked good but nothing like what you’d expect from the intriguing poster.
And when I say it looked good, It really did.

The stage revolved around a massive painting of “The Three Ages Of Man” by Titan.
Considering the size of the painting (Fucking huge!) I thought there would be some symbolism or meaning to it.
The painting got a brief mention.

All in all,
The Tron Theatre is an amazing place and I’m glad I went along to see “Hoors”.
With a poster like that one I would have kicked myself for not seeing it.

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