I don’t sleep a lot and a few months ago I found myself watching a Coldplay concert which was on the TV at 4am.
I don’t like Coldplay. They don’t do anything for me but I’ll always watch any band play live (even if it’s only once) and when you’re up at 4am anyway, you don’t care what you’re watching.
The concert was just about to bore me to sleep when I noticed something which…saddened me.
That’s it, it saddened me. It put a little light out in my heart.
Coldplay were nearing the end of their set and as they were playing their last songs, the TV cameras panned around the front row of the audience who were all slightly awkward looking middle aged guys who looked like they’d given up a long time ago and were now content with their wives buying their clothes from the GAP Store for them.
You know the type…
All the way through Coldplay’s last song, the entire front row were checking their watches and I eventually figured out why.
- They all planned to make the last train home.
It was unbelievable.
When the hell did this happen folks?
When did people become so…BEIGE?
Coldplay’s music really depresses me but it’s nowhere near as depressing as the beige behaviour from their fans. - Which, in turn, is nowhere near as beige and depressing as this BBC News story….
Tinnitus sufferer Plan B is supporting a charity campaign which urges music fans to protect their hearing.
Tinnitus, a constant buzzing in the ear, is often caused by loud music and is prevelant among musicians and frequent concert-goers.
The Loud Music campaign aims to make people aware of the dangers.
“If you’re listening to music a lot, producing music or performing live, then always wear earplugs,” said Plan B. “You’re not Superman!”
“When I first developed it, I thought it was trains rushing by my house as I live near a railway line – it was really loud and an extremely high-pitched ringing in my ears,” the 28-year-old singer says.
“There’s no doubt it’s been caused by years of being on stage and subjected to very loud decibels of music.”
The Action on Hearing Loss campaign includes adverts and a video featuring people’s ears being attacked by a drill or hammer.
Earplugs will be handed out during London’s Camden Crawl this weekend, which showcases new music talent and is credited with bringing artists such as Amy Winehouse into the limelight.
“Looking after your ears is unfortunately something you don’t think about until there’s a problem,” said Coldplay’s Chris Martin, who is also backing the campaign.
“I’ve had tinnitus for about 10 years, and since I started protecting my ears it hasn’t got any worse. But I wish I’d thought about it earlier.
“Now we always use moulded filter plugs, or in-ear monitors, to try and protect our ears.”
The campaign includes five tips on how music lovers can avoid permanent damage to their ears, including standing back from speakers and using chillout zones in clubs.
Judge Jules, Jazzie B and DJ Smith have added their backing, while 70s chart-topper Gary Numan said he wished he had taken advice earlier.
“I didn’t look after my ears and I’m in trouble,” said Numan, 54. “It’s getting serious, to the point that I can’t mix my music properly anymore, so it’s majorly impacted on my career.
“If I’d just looked after them when I was younger then this would never have happened, so I very much regret it.
“I would often be at gigs, standing at the front next to the speakers, not wearing earplugs, thinking I’m cool and being manly, but that’s just rubbish, it’s stupid.
“So look after your hearing and wear earplugs.”
I’m sorry folks but this is bullshit. It’s bullshit supported by people who write music for TV adverts and coffee shop compilation albums okay?
Chris Martin says: “Now we always use moulded filter plugs, or in-ear monitors, to try and protect our ears” but a monitor is designed to sit at your feet so that you can hear yourself play. It’s generally quite loud because it has to be so why would you bury it in your ear?
I could understand something like this coming from the likes of Neil Young or Ozzy Osbourne but Chris Martin, Gary Numan and a bunch of tinny sounding garage rappers?
The only way folk are gonna develop hearing problems is by listening to any music made by those people.
…And as for you Chris Martin, my ears go all the way up to eleven and I like ROCK & ROLL and I like it LOUD!
- You ‘I-Will-Try-To-Fix-You‘ wet wipe-clothes from GAP-elevator tune penning-earplug wearing-safety first idiot you!
Does it say “Remember To Put Your Earplugs In Kids” on David Bowie’s “Ziggy Stardust” album?
No. No it fucking doesn’t. It says…
“TO BE PLAYED AT MAXIMUM VOLUME“.