Mouse Trapping In The Hood.

Ever since I had mice in my previous flat 2 years ago, I’ve been obsessed with reading about the little buggers. Although mice are no longer a problem for me, I do feel guilty from time to time about the 8 or so I killed and since I’m completely clued up on them these days, I even sort of admire mice. They ain’t stupid. That’s for sure.

Whilst reading some user submitted mouse stories on Reddit, I came across this one particular story that made me laugh myself silly whilst terrifying and horrifying me at the same time!

Obviously written by some sort of Commando psychopath who has had enough, here it is…

ok, a bit of a long read but worth it. true story.

i used to live in an apartment in the hood and i had a miniature doberman pincher that would keep the mice at bay. after my dog passed away at 14/15 yrs old i took a summer long vacation to take my mind off of things.

when i came back i realized the first night how much the dog was doing to keep the mice away… as i had an infestation of mice. literally hundreds of mice (from the entire building) had sought refuge in my apartment.

being in the hood the slumlord landlord didnt give 2 fucks about it and told me to just lay out some traps.

the second night back i had mice running across my bed…across my chest and across my face as i tried to sleep. as they had got used to run of the entire place while i was gone.

i snapped and got out my air rifle. and sat up late at night perched on a stool in the corner of the room with my air rifle and would snipe the bastards till the sun came up.

i would go in the kitchen and sit on the stove and snipe the bastards as they went around the area where the dog food used to be at.

i learned the patterns that they would run (for example…behind the stove…to behind the dinning table… to behind the fridge… to a hole in the corner. they would run from cover to cover to avoid getting shot.

little fuckers where smart and learned the sound of a safety being “clicked” so i had to have my gun ready and just sit and wait with safety off and aimed at where i thought they were going to run. they learned the sound of bb’s rattling so they would hide if they heard that (so i adjusted and switched to pellets…arrowhead kind).

they learned that when the light was on in a room it meant i could be watching so they stop coming out before 1 am if the lights were on. (i adjusted and got nightvision googles from my uncle in the army)

the bigger mice (not rats, just big ass mice) would send out the little ones to do a “run” as i called it. basically they would run back and forth 3-4 times to draw any fire. if i didnt shoot, they assumed it was safe and then the big ones would come out. if i shot the “little ones” you wouldnt see the “big ones” for a couple of days.

after about 3-4 months of killing on average 15-20 mice a night, they finally got the message or finally all got killed off because i finally had my place rodent free. the first week i would kill about 30-40 a night.

TL/DR: slumlord landlord didnt give a shit about the mice infestation forcing me to go ‘full metal jacket’ on them and thus murdering hundreds of mice over a few months period.”

You May Also Be Interested In…
* Rest In Pieces
* MEEP! MEEP!
* Fucking Beetlejuice

Sadowitz On Savile.

I have a rare vinyl record of a stand up show by the psychopathically bitter and twisted Glaswegian comedian that is Jerry Sadowitz. The record is titled “Gobshite” and in that record Sadowitz talks about the late Jimmy Saville being a child abuser. This is hardly news to us these days except for the fact that SADOWITZ RECORDED THE SHOW IN 1987!

Jerry Sadowitz is (in)famous for removing every single trace of himself from Youtube (and afterall why not) but yesterday I happened to notice that he has created an account for himself and even uploaded a video (In November of last year) promoting one of his 2012 stand up shows!

As well as being dressed as Jimmy Saville AND playing the audio clip from his 1987 show you get the added bonus of Sadowitz using a clingfilm roll as a cigar!

Here’s hoping old Jerry uploads a whole lot more onto that Youtube channel of his in the future. Although,what with him being a complete cunt and all, he probably won’t. And after all, why should he.

You May Also Be Interested In…
* Buying Tickets For Jerry Sadowitz’s Latest Glasgow Show!
* The Tragedy & Comedy Of Jerry Sadowitz
* “New York City: A True 8th Avenue Tale” By Bob Heaney

Al Cook’s “Necropolis”: Please Give Blood.

Hi folks, this is the latest entry in my macabre Glaswegian comic-strip, Al Cook’s “Necropolis”.
It’s called “Please Give Blood” so please do!























As always, the main place to view Al Cook’s “Necropolis” in all of its complete and black biro penned, sinister hand-drawn wonder is HERE.

* Footnote:
I sent this “Please Give Blood” strip off to the Scottish National Blood Transfusion Service asking them to get behind the comic etc… and they said:

Hi Al,
Many thanks for your enquiry.
I’m afraid this is something we will not be able to support.
Best regards,
Leigh.

Leigh Taylor.
Donor Recruitment and Publicity Officer
Scottish National Blood Transfusion Service
25 Shelley Road
Glasgow
G12 0XB
Tel: 0141 357 7740“.

That aside, please do give blood. It’s very very important and not painful at all.

FACEBOOK LINKS:
* Give Blood For Scotland
* Al Cook’s “Necropolis”

You May Also Be Interested In:
* Cut Loose (Complete Version)
* Cracking Open A Cold One
* REDRUM

“Please Give Blood”: A Preview.

Hi folks,
I’ve decided to push back the new “Please Give Blood” instalment of my comic strip to Halloween 2012 because:
(a) I’m putting an animation video together.
(b) I’ve sent the strip off to the Scottish National Blood Donation & Transfusion Centre for their disapproval and as soon as I get their rejection/objection letter, I’m gonna work it into the plot.

You understand don’t you?
Until then, here is a link to the preview illustrations…

The strip will appear on Halloween 2012 right HERE.
Become a fan on Facebook HERE and follow me on Twitter HERE and I’ll follow you in real life!

*Disclaimer: Will contain blood. LOADS OF IT!

Knitting For Psychos.

Do you ever use Stumbleupon?

The amazing thing about Stumbleupon is that the more you use it, the more it gets to know what kind of things you’re into. This is how I regularly manage to find a lot of stuff on the internet which is in short, Fucked. Right. Up.

…Like KNITTING FOR PSYCHOS!

If You Are A Psycho You May Also Be Interested In…
* Home Decorating: Ed Gein Style
* When Barbie Goes Psycho
* Al Cook’s “Necropolis”

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