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The D.I.Y. Knight Rises…
Old Woman Ruins A Prized Jesus Christ Fresco.
Today’s Moron Of The Day award goes to the elderly, well meaning idiot, Cecilia Gimenez.
Courtesy of The Independent…
An elderly woman has destroyed a 19th-century Spanish fresco in a botched restoration conducted without permission.
Three separate photos show the extent of the damage done by the unnamed (Cecilia Gimenez) woman to Elias Garcia Martinez’s work ‘Ecce Homo’.
The damage was discovered after Martinez’s granddaughter made a donation to the Centro de Estudios Borjanos which holds an archive of local religious artworks, a couple of weeks ago.
Staff then went to check on the work at the Santuario de Misericodia church in Borja, near Zaragoza in north eastern Spain, only to find it dramatically altered.
The three photographs show the changing face of the artwork over the last two years.
In the first photograph, taken in 2010, slight speckling is apparent. In the second photograph, taken just last month, large patches of white dominate the picture. One theory is that the elderly woman had already begun her work on the painting at this point, and the white marks are the result of her scraping away the paint.
The third photograph shows the image transformed beyond recognition, with a childlike reworking of Jesus’ face, broad brush strokes removing any subtlety from the clothing and thick layers of red and brown paint covering several key details, including the crown of thorns.
Despite the terrible results, the restoration, which was completed without permission, is not thought to have been malicious; rather the work of an enthusiastic, if somewhat misguided, amateur who lived near to the church and simply wanted to repair the ageing artwork.
Culture councillor Juan Maria de Ojeda was quoted in the Spanish newspaper El Pais taking a somewhat sympathetic tone, saying the elderly perpetrator had undertaken the project “with good intentions” and had reported and admitted causing the damage when she realised it had “gotten out of hand”.
Despite being a work of little artistic importance, and not part of any painting or altarpiece, it did have some local sentimental value.
“The family used to come here to spend the holidays. One summer the artist made the portrait and bequeathed it to the people,” Ojeda said.
The damage is currently being assessed in an attempt to work out exactly what materials the amateur restorer used. The long-term hope is that a professional may be able to remove the layers of paint and restore the work to some semblance of its former state.
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“Well, …I Faked A Pregnancy”.
When a work colleague asks you if you did anything interesting with your weekend, they almost never expect you to reply with:
“Well, …I faked a pregnancy!”
But friends, that’s exactly how my Monday morning kicked off.
See, yesterday being April 1st, Anna and I decided to change our Facebook profile pictures to this:
I thought my friends would see through me right away but suddenly my phone began to ring off the hook!
Happy New Year To You But Not To Me.
Happy New Year everybody!
2012.
How can that be?
I mean, that’s the future right?
Anyways, I’m glad we all made it this far.
I’ve been off work for 3 days now for New Year and I’ve had a GREAT time!
I hardly ever get time off from work so I made the most of it.
Today was my first day back at work and I decided to take a taxi because of THIS and I almost made it right to the door of the building I work in when the police pull the taxi over.
They ask me to open the door and then…”FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!“
Okay, they weren’t THAT aggressive but they weren’t all that pleasant either.
They pulled us over because I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and automatically hit me with a spot fine of 60 bucks!
Motherfucker.
I was clearly in the wrong here.
If we’d have crashed, my body could have flown through the windshield and killed someone!
But goddamn, 60 bucks is a bit severe.
I said to the officer: “Let’s meet in the middle and call it 30!” but she was having none of it.
I said: “Okay. 35! And that’s my final offer!”
So that was that.
I went into work with an ‘Offenders Ticket’ which says I gotta pay Strathclyde Police 60 clams within 28 days or I’m going to the can.
I wonder where my money will go once I pay it.
Happy New Year to me 
PS: The taxi driver didn’t charge me any money.
