I’ve bought a new place to live.
I’ll be moving house in a few weeks and my Friends & Family have been ragging on at me to get my act together and buy some furniture.
They’re all quite right because my entire worldly possessions amount to no more than a beautiful guitar, a few records and drawings, and mountains of dog-eared books.
…So when I move in, I’m not gonna have a bed to sleep on or a chair to plant myself in.
So that’s that.
I’ve half decided to take everyone’s advice and so I bit the bullet and ordered a big ol’ weird purple 3 seater sofa.
It’s like something out of a Tim Burton movie.
It’s ridiculous and absurd and I figured that I could sleep on that until I get around to buying a bed.
I work days and nights so I’m hardly at home but when I am, I like to sit down and work on whatever illustration project I’m into at the time.
So…I’d better buy a desk and a drawing lamp I suppose, right?
I’m not really one for decorating.
I hate things that match and I get sad when I see so many people’s houses completely decked out in wall-to-wall IKEA shit.
Right now, I rent a place that looks out onto a big Victorian graveyard and the new place I’ve bought looks out onto the same graveyard because it’s next door to the place I’m about to stop paying rent for.
It’s funny how things work out but what I’m getting at here is this:
I’m rarely at home, and when I am at home I’m drawing.
When I’m not drawing, I’m either up the graveyard or staring out of the window at it.
For me, it’s better than sitting in front of a TV every night.
Britain and America really DO have talent folks but you won’t find it on Saturday night TV.
Anyways, me being a stubborn old man, the way I see it, what’s the point in decorating the inside of my place if I spend all of my time looking outside?
Ach, I suppose that’s not a very good way to think but I’ve been living alone for a long time now and I’m set in my crazy weirdo ways.
If I was selfish and had no pals, I’d just paint the entire flat black and sit on my absurd purple sofa all night looking out of the window and if you know me, you know that I would.
…However, (sigh) you will be pleased to know that I’m not gonna do that and get this!
I’ve been shopping for lamps and desks and paint today and I’m not talking about black paint either!
I hope I’m not lightening up after all these years
I don’t think I am because I’ve decided to take my decorating inspiration from someone I really look up to…(Drumroll)…
Vigo The Carpathian!
He is Vigo!
You are like zee buzzing of flies to him!
Heh heh, only kidding.
I’m only half kidding with you.
Shopping for desks and lamps proved to be surprisingly easy.
A desk is a desk so I found one of those straight away and as long as it gives off light, a lamp is a lamp.
Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
I plan to decorate my new place with weird and wonderful stuff and whilst messing around on the internet today I found this:
A massive chandelier made out of human bones and skulls!
I thought to myself: “SOLD!” but it turns out that I couldn’t buy it because that chandelier hangs in Sedlec Ossuary in the Czech Republic where the whole place is decorated with human skeletons.
My Girlfriend, friends and family were all against me buying a place that overhangs a graveyard in the first place so I don’t want to completely alienate them all by decorating the place like an ossuary inspired by Vigo The Carpathian.
Not yet anyway.
NOTE: Don’t even think about burgling my place because I’m hardly there because I have 2 state of the art legitimate alarms rigged up directly to the cops and 1 not so legitimate alarm which will bury an axe in your fucking burgling forehead as soon as you step through my door.