All week I’ve had this overwhelming urge to get stoned.
The urge has come from nowhere and all of a sudden but it’s there.
I’m almost 30.
I have weird hair, orange sideburns and I listen to Neil Young & Bob Dylan all night.
Surprisingly, I don’t smoke grass or hash.
I haven’t smoked any properly since I was about 19 or 20 and yet here I am today thinking about it.
I’ve never really missed my days as a stoner.
I smoked a lot for a long time and although it was great to spend my days on wasteground, learning my guitar, I always felt that I didn’t really get enough done.
I’d have all these possibly great ideas and I’d get up really early and start them off and then I’d have my first smoke of the day and next thing you know, I’m taking it easy and I can’t be bothered to do any of the things I was gonna do that day.
That’s pretty much the main reason I stopped getting stoned.
Smoking a quarter a day and drinkg tea tended to get in the way of doing all of those things I wanted to do.
Because I couldn’t be bothered.
If there’s a real danger with smoking hash and grass then it’s this:
You can turn you into a lazy, lethargic, dreamy, boring loser.
- Depending on how much you smoke.
Don’t get me wrong,
I’ve had some brilliant stoned experiences!
Like the time I managed to get a hold of some Gold Seal and I spent an entire hour thinking that the reflection in a big puddle was the reality and that I was the reflection!
So I gave up mainly because it made me lazy but also because I could no longer communicate with my pals.
My friends who didn’t smoke began to have no idea what I was on about anymore and my other friends who smoked a helluva lot more than me started to find the most unfunny things hilarious and seemed content to be lazy.
So I just stopped doing it one day and that was that.
I tend to overthink everything and smoking only opens up other doors that I don’t need.
I don’t miss having 17 joints a day but this week I’ve been thinking that 1 would be nice.
Fuck it though.
I think I’ll just boil the kettle and have a cup of tea and a cigarette.